a 2014 weight/fitness resolution check-in

I had big dreams for 2014.  Big dreams for myself in 2014.  I got on a roll with running in 2013 and completed Couch to 5k. Running had always scared me because of my less-than-stellar knees.  No, I didn’t play sports…no I didn’t have a car accident or an injury. I just inherited really crappy knees.

So I was surprised that the more I ran, the less they bothered me.  Maybe getting 25 pounds off was what helped my knees.  Who knows.  I learned to like running. I won't say I loved it. I kind of hate it during but love the feeling of accomplishment afterwards. It’s euphoria when I am able to push myself to meet or surpass a goal. I’m not and don’t ever plan to be a long distance runner. The furthest I’ve ever ran continuously is three and a half miles.  I was completely okay with that distance, but I wanted to just be consistently getting good, challenging exercise.

For 2014, I planned to run 25 miles per month or a total of 300 miles this year.  Unfortunately, in the first 6 weeks of 2014, I also experienced some unplanned obstacles. Like 2 separate stomach bugs, the flu, and 2 separate rounds of strep throat.  I ran 15 miles in during the month of January somehow but obviously fell short of the 25 mile goal I needed to hit to stay on track for running 300 miles for the year.

February rolled around and I ran again but there was trouble. Not far into my run, I had a debilitating pain in my left knee.  I tried to walk it off and run again but the pain got worse. Nothing popped or snapped, I never knew where the pain was coming from or why it was happening. I gave up after three attempts that day and decided to let my knee rest. That week, my knee hurt… all the time.  Standing up from my chair at work. Walking towards the back of the grocery store.  I was really worried. I continued to rest it. I ran once in March and it was a little better, but still hurt. 

By this point I was wondering if my running days were over. I was debating seeing an orthopedist but didn't have much luck the last time I went to one. They wanted to do an MRI that would be $1800 out of pocket and we were in the middle of moving so I put it off and eventually my knees stopped bothering me as much. 

I fell in April, badly scraping both knees, which gave me another excuse not to run. About a week after the fall, I noticed that I hadn't had any (internal) knee pain. I waited for another week for the scrapes to heal and could no longer resist the urge to run.  I was able to run over two miles and have been running off and on ever since then, but not with the consistency I would like.  Some days my knees hurt a little, some days they hurt a lot.  Occasionally...rarely, they don't hurt at all.  

I've given up on my dream of running 300 miles this year - obviously - but I still like getting some exercise every day one way or another. Lately it's been too humid for me to run. I'm just not that hardcore and it's too hard to breathe.

My weight has crept up a little as I haven't been watching what I eat as well as I used to. Well - I'm still watching. I’m still using MyFitnessPal to log calories and exercise daily.  I have just been eating a lot more of what I WANT than what I should.  My original goal was to lose 20-24 pounds and last year my weight loss hovered around 25-27 pounds.  I'm back to about a 21-22 pound loss, which is okay, but I liked 26 a whole lot better! 

So I'd love to hear any ideas people have about keeping motivation high long-term in order to keep the pounds AWAY long term.  Maintaining just isn't as fun or rewarding as losing, ya know? Neither is gaining.  If anyone has had long-term success at keeping weight off, please feel free share your tips and secrets. It’s so easy to slip into old habits.

xo,
~C~

struggle, struggle

Resolution Running: Fail.

I started off strong - what I mean by that is that I ran about 14 miles the first half of January. Then I was sick for six weeks with some sort of incapacitating illness or another including two stomach bugs, two rounds of strep, and the flu.  The one I got the flu shot for.  When I wasn't sick (rare), my kids were. Or my husband was.  So there were two solid months of no running.  The last time that I ran in January, I didn't make it very far before terrible knee pain struck and forced me to stop. I could  not run through it.

Since then, I've wanted to run. Some days my knee feels great. Other days, a sudden pain will take my breath away. At times, it hurts to walk.  It's so random because literally, some days, it feels like nothing is wrong.  All along, I have felt the urge to run. I have the urge to push my body past where I think it can take me.  Now it is {finally} getting warmer out and I picture myself with nothing but my feet, my thoughts, and my iPod, running around the neighborhood.  I want to run.

I ran two weeks ago on the treadmill and only made it .8 miles before that debilitating knee pain was too much to take. I just started running a year ago. Is it possible that my running days are already over? If this was caused from an injury, wouldn't the 6-8 week break be enough time for it to heal?

People have asked me about wearing a knee brace - I don't know the first thing about it.  I went to the orthopedic doctor about my knee 2 years ago and he wanted me to have a $1500 MRI. It was in the middle of us selling our house and moving in with my in-laws so I never got it done. Then I lost 25 pounds, started running and didn't have anymore knee trouble. Until January.  Maybe I need to go back to the doctor. This is a totally different pain/problem than what I had 2 years ago, but just as troublesome.

My goal of running 300 miles this year (25 miles a month) is definitely not going to happen. At this point, I just need to find something I enjoy doing that keeps me active. I'm dying to hike, but the weather hasn't quite gotten there yet for taking the boys.  There aren't a lot of super awesome hiking spots close by (nothing less than 30+ minutes) so it's not like I'll be doing that 3x or more per week anyway.

My weight is ... okay. For now.  When I was sick, my weight loss reached 31 pounds (from when I started losing weight over a year ago). My original goal was to lose and stay within a 20-24 pound loss range. On average, I've maintained about a 25-26 pound weight loss.  I think since I was sick, I got in the habit of thinking I can eat whatever because it wouldn't matter if I gained that 5 pounds back.  I've definitely gained that 5 pounds back but haven't stepped on the scale in a bit because I don't think I want to know if I've exceeded that.  I know I'm sort of okay, because my clothes still fit.  But I definitely don't feel as healthy or energetic or lean as I do when I'm eating better and exercising regularly.

That's what's going on with my health/fitness goal right now...not the end of the world, but definitely not as positive of a report as I'd like to give.  I'm excited to go for lots of walks with (and without) the boys now that it's getting warmer.  More outside time = less inactivity and less TV.

xo,
~C~

TGI-February - I fell apart and got frustrated

Good riddance to January. My post about sucky, sucky January is a little late but I was literally so angry towards the end of the month that it's probably better that I kept my mouth shut or hands tied or whichever term I should use relative to blogging.  It was terrible. Really.

I just wrote out a long post detailing everything that we went through in January. It was too much and no one wants to read all that. I don't think I want to read it again ten years from now; I lived it and I doubt I will ever be able to forget it.  Between snow, frigid temperatures, knee pain, and four separate and dreadful illnesses including 2 stomach bugs, strep throat, and , the flu (yes we all had flu shots) January can bite me. Flu shots can bite me, too.

With that being said, let's move forward. Let's focus on February. I'm still kind of mad because my fitness goals for 2014 are quickly going down the tubes.  My goal was to run 300 miles this year and between knee pain and everything else, I did not run the 25 miles that I needed to run in January in order to stay on track for meeting my year end goal. I know it's early in the year and I'm not giving up. Just being honest about where I am right now.  I only ran 14 miles so I've got a lot of making up to do.

Now if I could get out of my driveway (too much snow) I would go to the gym today and run.  Soon. I'm starting to accept that I might not reach the aggressive goal I set for myself, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up. There's a lot of 2014 left. The great news is that with all the illness, I've lost four pounds...it could be worse I guess.

Cheers to February. A little over a month before the beginning of Spring. The beginning of the end of winter.  Let's do this.

xo,
~C~

twenty.fourteen

First of all, Happy New Year!  I hope this year is better than the last and brings each of you much happiness and success.  There's no reason for this time of year to be the only time of year to make a positive life change. However, it seems kind of like a clean slate so each January, we all think of ways to improve ourselves and our lives.  Whether you call it a resolution, a goal, or just a hope, I wish you the best of luck and hope that you are able to remain dedicated to what's important to you.

For me, in 2014, I am focusing on a few areas in my life.  

Health & Fitness

Last year, I met my goal of losing 20-24 pounds and staying in that range.  I'm really proud and excited about my continued success but I know that I will not be able to maintain that success without continued action and caution.  During the month of December, I enjoyed a few too many sweets and threw caution to the wind as far as my diet was concerned, knowing that I'd be buckling down again in January.  I started running last year and I hate it. But I love it.  It seems I do best when I challenge myself and have to beat a personal goal.  This year (am I really saying this!?) I intend to run 300 miles in 2014.  Why 300?  I tossed a few ideas and numbers around in my head.  My thought with 300 miles is this... 6 miles per week for 50 weeks.  If I run 2 miles, three times a week, I will have 2 weeks when I don't have to run at all.  That is a pretty tight schedule and if I get behind, I'm screwed.  I'm hopeful that my own fear of failure to meet my goal will keep me on track.  I might run 3 miles twice a week.  Or maybe there will be weeks when I run 3 miles four times.  I don't know how this will work out.  All I know is that the more I run, the easier it should get.  The further I should be able to run.  What this doesn't take into account is sickness or vacations or holidays or injuries.  I can't predict the future but I think if I am dedicated, this is possible.  I think this will be my most challenging goal of 2014.

Parenting

While I don't think this will be my most difficult goal for 2014, I think it is the most important.  After what happened on December 7, I decided to stop yelling at my kids.  Since then, I've only "yelled" once, and I'm not sure that counts. Truly not trying to justify it, but I was yelling out of panic, not anger. Dexter started wadding up a map from one of their books that was certainly not the trash he was about to turn it into.  I told him to stop, but he didn't hear me over the enormous sound of paper crinkling so my voice quickly escalated into a yell, as I shouted "stop! Stop! STOP!"  He stopped.  I looked up at Ryan like a deer in headlights and said "does that count??!"  This was on December 16.  I haven't yelled since then!  On Sunday, Theo lied several times about something insignificant and it was really making me angry because I knew the truth.  If I hadn't already committed to no more yelling, I think I would have lost it.  Instead, I put my hand on his shoulder and got down on his level.  I said very calmly, "you're not telling the truth and mommy is getting really upset.  I don't want to yell at you so I need you to listen to what I'm about to say.  Are you listening?"  He nodded.  I already felt myself calming down.  "Theo, I need for you to go sit on your bed until you are ready to tell the truth."  He did.  It worked.  There was absolutely no reason for me to yell.  It's degrading to the small, innocent person I'm yelling at and it makes me feel like the worst parent alive.  No more yelling.  Please look up the Orange Rhino Challenge for more information.  Since learning about this, I began following a Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond group on FB, which has already posted so many useful tips and interesting articles about the potential damage that yelling can cause.  Eye opening, really. 

Photography

I did Project 365 in 2012 for about 3 1/2 months.  The goal being to increase the amount of pictures I'm taking, to take pictures of different things, to improve my photography skills and abilities, and to increase the likelihood that I will force myself to spend some time sorting and organizing my photos into something meaningful (aside from a space eating monster on our external hard drive).  I've gotten super lazy about taking pictures of the boys unless there's some occasion to do so.  The best pictures I've taken have been of ordinary moments and I'm hoping to capture some of those again in 2014.  So, I've agreed to participate in Project 365. My friend Mindi has promised to encourage me along the way, since she just wrapped up a successful Project 365 in 2013.  I can do this!  I will take at least one photo every day and post one picture that represents each day of 2014 in weekly posts.  Wish me luck - this will be tough for me to keep up with!

The things that I mentioned in the previous post are still important to me and will continue to be a work in progress, but as far as "resolutions" are concerned, this is it.  Three.  Running 300 miles.  365 days of no yelling.  Successfully completing Project 365.  

Will you join me in any of these?  What are your goals or resolutions for 2014?

xo,

~C~

weigh to stay: 12 months in!!

To see the previous updates, click HERE.  Progress photos in previous posts.

Technically, my December post should be "11 months in" but since it's the end of the month and almost a year since my original post, I'm skipping a month.  It has been one year since I decided enough was enough and that I was tired of feeling gross and eating gross.  My goal for the year was to lose 20-24 pounds and stay in that range. I started off using My Fitness Pal on both my phone and on the computer to log EVERY single thing I ate.  I don't think I skipped a single thing I put in my mouth until about May of this year.  I was hardcore!  This was the catalyst for my success going forward.  Mid to late January I joined the gym and started doing cardio and weights a few times a week.  In March, I decided to try Couch 2 5k.  In May I surpassed my goal of a 20-24 pound weight loss. I completed the program in June but didn't do the race I had signed up for.  (C25k is a 9 week training program in which you run 3x per week in increasing intervals until you can run for 30 solid minutes).

I continued running in the summer but it was much more intermittent just because it was so hot out and I was busier with playing with the boys outside.  I continued managing my diet well and hit my highest weight loss in 2013 at about 28 pounds lost.  I picked up running again before our vacation in October and was really on a good roll.  Even after Thanksgiving, my weight loss to date was about 25 pounds.  In December, well....

In December, I've weighed myself sparingly.  And watched my consumption of junk very sparingly.  I've put a few pounds back on but I think for today, it's safe to say my weight loss is around 22 pounds for the year.  Still within my goal range but I'm definitely not feeling the best that I have felt all year.  I was in the best shape when I was running three times a week. I feel squishy and out of shape right now and my pants are tighter than they were a month ago.  With that being said, I can't believe I was 20+ pounds heavier this time last year.  I'd call my new year's resolution a success, but I still have work to do. I will do a separate post with resolutions for 2014, which will include continued health/fitness goals.

At the end of 2013, this is me:

And I'm okay with that.

Still a work in progress,

~C~

weigh to stay: 10 months in + the ugly sweater run

See previous updates HERE.

Before vacation, I committed to 12 runs in four weeks and did fairly well.  I made the mistake of saving that 12th until the day before we left and there was just too much to do.  Still, I was proud for sticking to my plan to get back on track with running and exercising.  Since we've been home from vacation, I've gotten lazy.  For one, it's cold, not to mention completely dark, by 5:30pm.  At that point, I just don't even want to leave the house, let alone run around when I can see my own breath.

I've slacked off.  I'm all but a stranger on MyFitnessPal these days.  My original goal was to lose 20-24 pounds and remain within that range thereafter.  I made it!  It's been about 5 months since I met that goal and for the most part, I've done really well maintaining. I went beyond my goal and I think my greatest loss was around 28 pounds, but that was kind of a fluke as I never stayed there for more than a day or two.  Usually, I'm around a 26 pound weight loss.  Since vacation ended, it's probably safe to say I'm maintaining a 23-24 pound weight loss.  Still within my goal, but I've definitely loosened up on calorie watching, portion control, and exercise.

I haven't thrown caution to the wind, and I'm still aware of what's going on, especially on the days when my jeans fit a little tighter.  Just slowing down on exercise makes a difference there, regardless of my weight.  I definitely feel softer and squishier when I'm not running on a regular basis.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine at work approached me about doing The Ugly Sweater Run.  I hadn't heard of it before, have you? If you click the link to that website, you'll see that it's about as festive as a run could possibly be during the holiday season!  Sounded like lots of fun and I figured signing up would kick start me into running again so I said "why not?"  I only ran once per week between the time I signed up and race day, but I was still happy overall.

The week before the race, the forecast predicted clear skies and 32 degrees. Yikes - cold.  Too bad it was 13 degrees when I woke up this morning!!  It was 24 degrees when the race started and 25 when it ended.

How does one plan to dress for a race in 24 degrees?  Well, naturally I sought out an ugly sweater.

IG caption: Ugly enough for the #uglysweater race ?

I posted this photo on Instagram and got some mixed reviews.  Most thought it was too cute for an ugly sweater race, but my sister and best friend both thought it was pretty gross.  I bought it in hopes of finding something else.  I ended up not wearing it because I figured that $25 was better off in my wallet than spent on something that would potentially make me look like an idiot. So I'll be taking this back to Kohl's. 

We got these pretty cool hats.  (No, really. I like it). 

Look at that sea of hats!  The people watching was fantastic. Sooo many people were all decked out.  If (when) I do this again, I'll be more prepared.  More festive. 

Before the race - we were jogging in place to try to keep warm so I should probably add that to my total distance ran, right?  These are two lovely ladies I enjoy working with. 

I ran the first mile, then walked maybe half a mile.  Ran another half or three quarters before stopping to walk again.  I was happy with this because when I ran in 40 degrees on Friday, I only made it 7 minutes before walking 5 and then running another 10.  During the race I ran intermittently, stopping to take short walking breaks about 4-5 times.  I lost track, but I knew starting out that this was not going to be a race I ran from start to finish because of 1. the temperature outside and 2. the layers made it a little more difficult to move.  I was just happy to run the first mile.  Thinking back now, I don't even know why I stopped. I don't remember feeling out of breath or any pain. I must have just seen that first marker and made it my goal to make it that far.  I probably could have done more. Rats...

The Finish Line!

Post-race reward. 

After the race - we picked up some pals along the way.

And finally - what does one wear to a race when it's 24 degrees outside?  (Not pictured - gloves, scarf, and sweater hat).  North Face fleece.  Thermal moisture wicking long-sleeved shirt.  Cotton long sleeved shirt.  Sports bra. Tank top.  Knee socks (CHRISTMAS!). Fleece socks.  Long john thermal underwear.  Yoga/running pants. Truthfully, it was kind of okay. I was warm enough with excitement before the race.  During the race, I had to take my scarf off and unzip my jacket. My back and arms were sweating.  After the race, my hands and feet were freezing but the rest of my body was okay. I was super thankful for the sunshine and no wind!

I'm excited to have done the race and looking forward to participating in one that I can actually run, start to finish!  

xo,

~C~

weigh to stay: 9 months in

Before October's over, I wanted to get my weight loss post up.

Previous updates HERE.

I was excited to weigh in a couple of days after we returned from vacation to find that I actually lost 1.5 pounds on our trip.  I'm pretty sure they've caught back up with me since we've been home.  I'm still successfully keeping the weight that I lost away, and in excess of my original goal.  My goal was 20-24 pounds and I'm staying around 25-26 pounds lost.

I knew I wouldn't log in to MyFitnessPal on vacation and I've had a really hard time getting back into it since we've been back.  I'm sure I'm eating more than the recommended calories, but not enough to gain all my weight back (in the last 2 weeks anyway).  About 4 weeks before we left, I made a goal of running 12 times before vacation and I came pretty close - 11 runs.  I saved the last one for the day before we left and that was a mistake - there was just WAY too much to do.

I walked nonstop while on vacation, but haven't gone on a run since we've been back.  Do I have excuses? Sure.  Are they good? Eh.  Kinda - I've been coughing since before we left and pretty sure I had the flu this past weekend.  Just kind of waiting to feel better. I was looking for some inspiration yesterday and came across this quote:

I don't know who said it.  It's relevant for many things, but couldn't help but immediately relate it to losing weight, living a healthy life, etc.  There's always an excuse.  So, in short, I'm still doing okay.  I could be doing better.  I don't plan on getting back into the bad habits I had a year ago when I could barely stand to try on clothes or look in the mirror at myself.  

I've talked about it before - I hate winter.  It's no secret.  I feel a little sad in the winter. Tired. I don't like to be cold so I don't like to leave the  house.  I'm euphoric in the springtime.  So it will take a little extra mmmph to get me up and out and moving, but I know this is what I want for my self, my life, my health. So I have to find a way instead of an excuse.  

xo,

~C~

weigh to stay: 8 months in

Click HERE for previous updates.

I know I just posted my August update but it was late and I'm trying to get ahead of the game here, since I actually have a game plan for once.  Waaay back at the beginning of January, I said I was going to make my health a priority this year.  I wanted to do it for myself and for my family.  I wanted to feel better, be better, do better, and be an example to my kids.  I wanted to have the energy I needed to keep up with them and play with them for as long as they wanted me to.  All that being said, I had the goal of our vacation in mind.  I knew I had 9 months to lose enough weight to feel comfortable in shorts and to build up to having the energy needed for successfully surviving the theme parks.

I have maintained the weight loss thus far.  However, I've been tired these last couple of weeks.  I've noticed that the metabolism tanks and the exhaustion creeps in way faster than the pounds come back.  But I know that the pounds are not far behind once I start slacking in other areas. There are a lot of excuses for not exercising much this summer, but none of them can justify my laziness, which is what it boils down to.  I say I don't have time, but I made time before when it was top priority.  I have as much time now as I did 6 months ago.  The only difference is that I'm now at a comfortable weight so I don't feel the same urgency and drive that I did before.

I'm ready to get back to it, for real.  I ran outside yesterday with a goal of running a 1.6 mile loop in 17 minutes.  Well, I made it 15 minutes (not sure of the distance) and thought I was going to die.  I mean, DIE. First run in about two months and I chose 3:30pm and 86 degrees - maybe not my best choice for getting back into the groove. I'm not sure of the distance, but maybe 1.2 miles.  Determined to do better, I went to the gym today and guess what?  AGAIN.  I thought I was going to die at 15 minutes.  But I didn't.  I pushed myself to make it another minute. Then another quarter mile. Then til the end of this song. Over and over until I made it 3.1 miles - a whole 5k! On a treadmill, I know, but I did it.  And only for the second time in my life.  I'm ready to get back to it.  Nothing like that sense of accomplishment for doing something you didn't believe you could do. We've got about four weeks until our vacation and my goal is 12 runs in 4 weeks.  2 down, 10 to go. I'll let you know how it goes.

Since it's been a long time, here are some then and now shots.  In the same clothes.

Then (Jan 2013) & Now (Sept 2013)

Now (Sept 2013) & Then (Jan 2013)

Hold me accountable!

xo,

~C~

weigh to stay: 7 months in

See previous posts about my weight loss and maintenance by clicking HERE.

I have been at my goal weight (a loss of 24-27 lbs, depending on the day) since about May? June?  It's been a couple of months and I am still maintaining.  I'm very grateful for this, which makes it sound like it's something given to me and not something I'm working for.  Sometimes I feel that way though, some days it's easier than others to follow the rules and do what I'm supposed to do.  One thing I've always said though, is that I cannot and will not diet in a way that I can't maintain.  That's why I don't do trendy fad diets.  For me, there's only one path to success. Diet and exercise. And when I say diet, I don't mean South Beach or Adkins (see, I don't even know what the current fads are). I mean the foods that I choose to eat, that's my "diet." Or eating lifestyle.  Some days are smarter and better than others.

Some days I totally indulge and throw the plan out the window, but I always make up for it and I always get back on track. That's one thing I'm learning to do, finally, after all this time of having my weight go up and down. And up and down again.  I have to get back on track when I fall off of the wagon.  Just because I know there is an event coming up where I know I will go overboard, the most important thing to remember is to live in moderation leading up to and following that event. Wedding Cake. Birthday Cake. Mom's in town so we're having cookies. It's okay to enjoy food and life!  I certainly don't have to be miserable to eat right.  It's fun and a challenge, even, to find healthy foods I enjoy.  The Hungry Girl cookbooks are great for this.  While I do feel like I'm experiencing some success, I'm very well aware of the fact that I've only actually maintained my goal weight/size for a couple of months and that it doesn't take long to put it back on.  What are some tips you have for sustained weight loss?

Here I am with my BFF on 8/17/2013.

xo,

~C~

weigh to stay: 6 months in

I'm behind on my monthly weight loss update, I guess because there's not much to say.  Not a whole lot has changed, and that's a good thing.

I started out in January with a goal of losing 20-24 pounds.  As of today, I've lost 27.  I'm very happy where I'm at as far as weight is concerned.  I'm staying in a 24-27 pound weight loss range.  What I'm not as happy about is that lately I've gotten lazy, so I know I will not be able to maintain my success if I don't start doing something differently.

I'm still logging EVERY THING I eat in  My Fitness Pal, and that's probably kept me on the wagon for the most part.  The problem is excuses. Lots of excuses.  It's been unbelievably hot and muggy.  I'm addicted to watching an episode of Dexter every night after the boys go to bed. Work is crazy right now so I've been working from home at night.  I like ice cream in the summertime. Truth is, I was busy before and found, no MADE, time to exercise.  I'm still doing some, but nothing like before.

I did purchase Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.  I think I've done it four times in a month...not exactly gonna get shredded like that.  It was hard as hell and I could see why it works and gets such great reviews (from people that actually do it).  The last two times I ran, I was not able to run as long as I had planned, so that was disappointing.  Use it or lose it, I suppose.

So, I'm happy to be staying within my weight goal by managing my calorie intake appropriately, but it's not really what I pictured starting out. I've not given up, it's not over. I still have the desire and drive to keep going. I just need to get past this slump.  I still have our vacation in sight and am looking forward to wearing shorts and feeling good about it.  I look forward to not feeling fatigued from long days of walking.

I'm very much looking forward to continuing towards my goal.

I haven't taken any progress photos and LORD KNOWS no one (ahem, husband) ever stops to take a photo of me, so here's a recent pic of Ryan and I on our way to the Luke Bryan concert with some friends last Sunday night!  (P.S. SO FUN!)

xo,
~C~

weigh to stay: 5 months in

If you've been keeping up with my blog, you know that I have been on a mission to lose some dreaded L-Bs since the beginning of the year.

Recap so far:
1 month report Feb 2013
2 month report Mar 2013
3 month report Apr 2013
4 month report May 2013

I'm happy to report that I have met and exceeded my goal...for now.  I know it's really negative to add that "for now," but let me explain.  Before I get too sidetracked though, my goal was to lose 20-24 pounds then remain within that range. As of today, I've lost 25.8 pounds.  I'm staying right around that thus far and very happy about it.  That's not to say that there isn't still work to be done, but as far as my weight is concerned, I'm comfortable with it now.  HURRAH.  Considering I hated walking past a mirror 6 months ago, this is a pretty big accomplishment.

Now, back to that "for now."  As happy as I am about my success losing the weight, I'm equally as afraid of just packing it right back on.  I love food.  Love it.  Especially food that is not good for me. Love chocolate and cookies and ice cream and that and that and that.  Love comfort food.  Cheesy, warm, melty, gooey.  All those things. I have not cut those things out of my life and I never will.  It's all about moderation and portion control, I fully understand that.  I will never do a crazy diet that I can't keep up with after the weight is gone.  For me, it's as simple as diet and exercise. Portion control and self-control.  But my larger me would just help herself to second (and third) helpings of whatever was tasting good.

At this point, I have been exercising pretty regularly. This is a beautiful thing for a couple of reasons. Not only is it good for my body, it's good for my mind. It feels good to let off some steam in a healthy way.  I'd been slacking off for a few days and come home from work one night earlier this week just exhausted. I laid on the couch and told the kids to bring their toys and books to me when they asked to play or read with me.  The whole night, I felt so incredibly lazy, guilty, and truthfully just gross.  I remember sitting laying on the couch thinking, "well this sucks.  This is how I felt every night when I was not exercising."  Ryan mentioned that it was nice outside and somehow I found the energy to get up off the couch and go for a 2 mile run.  Nothing too crazy, but I can't even explain how much better I felt. I had more energy at 8pm than I'd had the entire day and wasted an entire night being lazy with my kids. Being exactly the mom I did not want to be. 

When I stay active, my energy level remains higher and I AM more active, whether I am exercising or playing with my kids.  When I make a point to stay active, I want to move around, which burns more calories and keeps my metabolism elevated.  I don't ever want to feel that way every single night again. 

The problem is that I get comfortable. I'll think that my metabolism is higher so I can afford to enjoy that order of fries that I should avoid. Or I will think that I deserve that DQ blizzard at 10pm.  Like I said before, I refuse to cut those things out of my life completely, but the kind of trouble that I'm talking about creeps up on me in the form of fries one night, ice cream the next, then cookies for lunch the next day, and on and on and on. Until I am right back in the habit of making bad choices.

Losing weight has never really been the problem once I set my mind to it.  It's always been keeping the weight off, staying active, and maintaining that elevated energy and metabolic level.  So far, so good.  I might need some encouragement along the way to keep up at this point.  My goal starting out was of course to be healthier and more active as a whole, but in tangible terms, I wanted to be able to wear shorts when we go to Disney in October and not be ashamed of my legs. Wear a swimsuit at the resort pool and not be trying to constantly cover myself up out of embarrassment.  Well, I'm wearing shorts.  That bathing suit thing will take some work. 

Time to start some strength training and stop relying on running alone for exercise.

xo,
~C~

i didn't, but then i did + sad news

I registered for the Race Away from Domestic Violence 5k a few weeks ago, expecting to have finished the Couch to 5k program by now and expecting nice, clear weather on June 1st at 8am.

A few things happened to the contrary. I got sick with strep about 5-6 weeks ago and never fully got back on track with Couch to 5k.  I still gave myself enough time to finish C25k (barely), but then I got a cold about a week and a half ago.  From Week 1, Day 1, I vowed to repeat any failed workout until I succeeded. I never failed a single workout until Week 9 Day 1. P.S. It's a 9 week program.  So that was last Sunday...I was supposed to run 30 minutes without stopping but I was so congested that I couldn't breathe.  I only made it 15 minutes.

Tuesday we went to Kings Island. Thursday I went to the Tim McGraw concert after receiving a last minute invitation. Things happened and the week got away from me.  By Friday, I still hadn't tried again and the weatherman was predicting thunderstorms during the race.  He didn't lie.  I set the alarm for six a.m. and watched the news for thirty minutes. I didn't see anything about a cancellation but I just didn't have the heart or desire to run in the rain. Especially not knowing deep down if I'd be able to finish.  The furthest I'd ran before was 2.4 miles (without stopping) and the longest time being 28 minutes.

The other thing that happened -- very unexpectedly, our babysitter told us last night that she is closing her doors. My heart sank and I literally felt like I was going to puke as she was explaining. As soon as I understood what she meant by "closing," my mind was going a million miles a minute.  She was talking but I was only half-hearing.  The boys were trying to walk out the door and I was trying not to cry. As soon as the door closed behind me, I burst into tears.  Theo told me all the way home that everything was going to be alright, although he had no understanding of what had just happened. A bomb went off in our happy little world.  She gave a million reasons with which I can find no fault.  I know it's not personal.  But it feels personal.  It feels like a break-up when you've done everything you can do to keep someone happy but it's not enough. It feels like she's breaking up with our kids. Like they weren't good enough. Like they did something wrong.  Again, I know it's not personal.  None of the reasons she gave had anything to do with us, but everything to do with her family and personal life. But from day one, she said that she was committed to seeing our families through to Kindergarten.  We stayed in the same geographical area when we bought our home based largely on that. Knowing all the while, that we were completely vulnerable and that this could happen any day of the week.  Knowing all the while, that priorities change. Life circumstances change.  That promises can be broken and there's not a thing you can do to change it. She made a big decision to better her family's life.  I can't be upset with her, but naturally and selfishly, I'm upset and saddened by the situation that it leaves us in.

So I spent all of Friday night crying and processing. Worrying and wondering.  Fearful of the future. Sick over the uncertainty. Searching online and making a list of people and places to call come Monday morning.  I couldn't sleep last night and when the alarm went off at 6am this morning, I sure was not in the mindset to toss aside my worries and go run in the rain for the sake of saying I ran a 5k.

She's giving us 4 weeks to find alternative care.  We're thankful for that but so much remains unknown for now.  It's just been a gloomy kind of weekend.

After gorging myself on Mexican food for dinner tonight, I told myself to snap out of it.  I knew I'd eaten way more than My Fitness Pal would appreciate and I needed to do something to make up for it.  At 8pm I decided that even though I didn't make it to the 5k 12 hours earlier, I had everything I needed to run a 5k right then.  I put on my shoes, grabbed my iPod and I ran.  I ran and ran and ran.  I ran fast then I slowed down.  Waaay down. I sped up and slowed down. Over and over.  I sung. I focused on my breathing. I felt my feet hitting the ground. Ankle, knee, and side pains came and went.  I focused on the sky and the lines on the sidewalk before me.  I ran and ran and ran until I'd gone 3.2 miles.  Just over 5k in just under 40 minutes.  The furthest and longest I've ever ran.  It felt good to accomplish it, even if there was no crowd. No tag with a number to pin to my shirt. No official time. No one to high 5 me at the finish line.  I did it for myself. Now I know that I can.

Still sad? Of course.  But life moves on.  We all keep progressing.  Our babysitter told me to focus on the positive.  It will be good for Theo to be around older kids.  I know it will be fine, but it just doesn't feel that way right now because I just don't know what to do or where to go.  We have a big search and a big decision ahead of us.  It's hard and stressful and anxiety-provoking.  It's time to figure it out, though, so that's what we will do.

xo,
~C~

time for your catch-up

I've had that dang Doc McStuffins song stuck in my head for weeks. So random since my kids don't watch it. I secretly try to push it on them because I think it's such a cute show.

That's totally not the point of this post.  I'm just a little bit behind on thing that have been happening so I wanted to jot a few things down.

Last Monday Dexter peed in the potty!  He always pees as soon as I put him in the tub for a bath so I try to remember to sit him on the toilet first. Never worked before, but he's peed on the potty a few times since Monday.  I'm not ready to go full force potty training him because I think he can control releasing it. But not holding it.  I know that makes no sense to you, but it makes sense to me. I told Theo that I hoped he started pooping on the potty before Dexter did and guess what? Wednesday night, Theo pooped on the potty at home for the first time.  He did it once on April Fools Day (how appropriate) at the babysitter's but this was the first time at home. He hasn't done it again but hey. It's some kind of progress.  Hard to believe my little pals are getting so big.

Oh, and Dexter says "peed" for pee "peeding" for peeing.  I guess because he so often hears "peed in the potty."  So now he says "I'm peeding!"  It's really funny and cute. No?  Guess you have to be there.

In the car, Theo oftentimes will ask me why Dexter does something or doesn't do something and I'll direct him to ask Dexter.  It cracks me up when Theo says Dexter's name repeatedly until Dexter makes eye contact with him. This isn't easy to do because they both have to kind of look around the sides of their carseats to see each other.  If Dexter doesn't look at Theo or say anything, Theo will say "Dexter, say 'what'" before asking his question.  Dexter ignores him half the time to push his buttons - I know this because he gets a very mischievous grin on his face.  Dexter has a lot of faces.  I'll have to try to get some of his trademark smirks on my camera because I sure don't want to forget them.  Theo even knows the faces now, because he'll say "What is THAT face, Dexter?"

Theo's picked up on a lot of the things I say.  I'll ask him a question and he'll answer "I have no clue" or "I have no idea" and I'll think to myself, where did he hear that? Not five minutes later, I'll realize I'm saying it too.  Cute.

I have a cold and it's really been annoying because I was so determined to complete C25K before this Saturday, when I run my first 5k.  I tried to run yesterday and only made it 15 minutes.  Week 9 Day 1 of a 9 week program and I had my first failed workout.  I just couldn't breathe and figured it wasn't worth pushing myself and making myself sicker.  From the beginning, I've said I would repeat any failed workout but I definitely won't finish if I do that.  We'll see what happens with my cold the rest of the week, but right now my main priority is just getting better by Saturday morning at 8am.  I think I'm going to be really disappointed in myself if I don't run the whole thing.

Ryan and I are heading to Kings Island for a fun date day tomorrow!

xo,
~C~

weigh to go: 4 months in

Read the previous updates and see the previous photos here. 

My goal starting out in January was to lose 20-24 pounds and remain in that range.  I'm happy to finally report that I made it! I have been in this range for about 3 weeks now.  I lost about five pounds in a couple of days when I had strep throat at the end of April, and gained a couple of them back.  Here I am in January (after my first trip to the gym in 2 or more years) and after my run tonight:

I feel much better, but I still have work to do.  I still feel squishy.  I want to feel fit.  I feel healthier but I don't necessarily feel like a fit person.  Strep throat threw me off track with Couch to 5k and I still have not completely gotten back on track.  And now I've lost track of whether I'm just one week behind or two.

BUT.

But.

I WILL finish Couch to 5k by the end of May.  I will make it happen.  Why?  Because I've registered for my first 5k on June 1st!  I'm excited and a little nervous.  I've made a lot of progress considering that I struggled to run for 1 minute at a time when I started Couch to 5k and now I'm struggling to run 28 minutes...but I'm doing it!  I loathe it during sometimes, but afterwards it is one of the best feelings in the world. Truly!  I think I even saw a glimmer of a calf muscle tonight. I'm running outside more than inside, which (for me) is much more difficult physically.  The treadmill is boring though and I tend to stare at the clock, so either way it's a challenge.

Tonight was the first night I had to run 28 min. The last three runs were only 25. Doesn't sound like a huge difference but you better believe I threw my everything into those last three minutes while I was jamming out to Alicia Keys' Superwoman because I wanted to quit. Bad.  It was hot.  The path I chose was very hilly.  I had just eaten dinner.  It was rough and I was super slow. But I made it without walking. Woo! Afterwards, I was anxious to find out if I ran further than I had the previous week and sadly, it was the exact same.  Given the environmental challenges, I'm not beating myself up about it too much since I did finish without stopping (and that's my goal for the 5k, not speed).  But it would have been nice if I'd gone further than the 2.2mi that I have been running for the past week in 25 minutes.

Long way of saying I got behind, but I haven't given up. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. I only have 5 more Couch to 5k workouts remaining and I kind of don't know what to do with myself once that's over. Aside from walking, this has pretty much been my only exercise since I started it 9-ish weeks ago.

Suggestions?  I get bored going to the gym and doing cardio & weights.  I've thought about P90x but we don't have a great place for that until we get the basement finished.  

xo,
~C~

facebook's annoying, i'm baking, Cincinnati, and vacation

Where've I been, you ask? Well, this past week Strep throat knocked me off my feet (literally) for about 3 days.  Wow - I have never had it before and I guess I just thought it was one of those things that people got or they didn't get.  Well, I got it.  It was worse than I ever realized.  So not only did it knock me out of work for 2 days (I was able to work from home the 3rd day), it knocked me off track with Couch to 5K.  I'm planning on getting back on track (treadmill) tomorrow but I'm a little nervous.  My throat still hurts and otherwise I feel okay, but I don't know if I'm really back up to full strength yet.

We went to Cincinnati to celebrate my nephew's 8th birthday party yesterday and watch him shine at his Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby. It turned out to be a nice day.  I was glad we made the last minute decision to make it a day trip instead of a weekend trip. The boys needed the rest and so did I. It was nice having that unplanned day today to just relax and catch up things I was too sick to do last week.  As of this moment, I'm waiting for some cookie dough to chill in the fridge.  I'm making this:

Source: the-girl-who-ate-everything.com via Candice on Pinterest

Okay so that image is a little on the large side but you get the idea. S'mores cookies? Yes, please. If you're thinking I'm strange for talking about diet & exercise in one paragraph and then S'mores cookies in the next, I guess you're right. But I'm not giving up everything that I love. One word. Moderation. I wouldn't last on any diet where I felt deprived. Moderation.

In other unrelated randomness, I am getting really super annoyed with Facebook. Too many links and quotes and pictures of the ocean that people didn't take and drama and self-righteous people and on and on and on. Maybe people are annoyed with me for pretty much only posting links to my blog posts and pictures of my kids. I don't care. They can delete me. I feel bad sometimes posting links to my blog but I don't quite have a readership that warrants a fan page. I did recently surpass 50,000 page views however. That only took 2.5 years. :)

What else can we chat about? I am excited about plans and no plans. Lots of plans for May and but not much else planned this summer. Before we know it, it will be Disney time (October!). We did go ahead and purchase plane tickets. I toyed with the idea of driving, but eh. After an 8 hour trip home from Dollywood a couple weeks ago, I changed my mind. Theo started complaining 100 miles from home that his back hurt. He wasn't injured so I can only imagine it was his position in his carseat. I hate sitting for that long too. Flying nonstop 2 hours will be a dream compared to a 16+ hour drive.

My dough's chilled!

night,
~C~

weigh to go: 3 months in

This is the picture that did it for me.  The one that made me realize that I really didn't like the way I looked.  Christmas morning with my boys and all I could see in this picture was how big my arms and stomach and legs looked.  [My hair's pretty gross too, but that's not the point.]  It's not even that I think I look necessarily huge, I just didn't realize that this is what I looked like.  At all.

On January 2nd, I started a diet.  A couple weeks later I joined the gym.

Click here for the previous update.

As of a month ago I had lost 12.something pounds.  I posted this on Instagram.

I'm happy to report that 1 month later, as of today, I've lost 16.4 pounds.  This is not a dramatic weight loss - just averaging a pound a week, but that is fine.  I find it a little surprising because my lifestyle has changed quite dramatically since I started all this healthier living business.

I started Couch to 5k, are you familiar? I've historically never been a runner.  I've historically always complained about my crappy knees.  But.  I've recently been sooo inspired by Mommy Boots and her success with this program that the urge to try it was overwhelming.  I am currently in the middle of week four.  In case you are not familiar, this program is designed to train a non-runner (definition: ME) to run a 5k in just 9 weeks.  There are 3 sessions per week and each one is just about 30 minutes. Easy enough to commit to that, right? 

To give you a better, but brief rundown, I think Wk 1 starts out alternating 60 seconds of jogging with 90 seconds of walking.  By Wk 4, I'm up to this:

Warm up walk: 5 min
Jog: 3 min
Walk: 90 sec
Jog: 5 min
Walk: 2 min 30 sec
Repeat (minus the 5 minute warm up)
Cool down walk for 5 min

I have been doing the program outside at least 1x a week and inside on the treadmill 2x a week since I started.  Not intentionally necessarily, but it's just worked out that way.  Jogging outside is like 54ish times harder than on the treadmill.  I hate it during, but I love it afterwards. 

My knees do hurt initially, but that kind of goes away once I get into my rhythm.  I did day one of week four outside and it was quite a jump from week three so it was rough. REALLY rough. But I completed it.  Did it again tonight on the treadmill and it was easy.  I've already told myself that if I am not able to successfully complete a day, I am going to repeat it until I'm successful. So far, I haven't had to repeat anything.  Which is surprising since that 60 seconds of jogging the first week nearly killed me.  Or so I thought. 

This month's major milestone:  I fit into my "skinny jeans" that I quickly outgrew about a year ago when I stopped nursing Dexter.  Woo!!  Getting back into them has been a goal since I started on this journey.  I did it and here's the proof!

Disregard the dorky pose, fake smile, and wet hair.

So despite the fact that the numbers are not changing rapidly on the scale, I feel MUCH better. I desperately need to buy some new clothes.  I notice that I care more about how I look.  I'm wearing make-up.  Getting my eyebrows done again.  Dressing (a little) cuter despite my limited wardrobe (the picture above is not intended to depict that).  Contemplating a new hairstyle.

I'm proud of myself for challenging my brain and my body with this jogging madness, and I have so much more energy than I can remember having in recent years.  I've been known to bust out 50 jumping jacks in the bathroom at work. I'm still sticking with My Fitness Pal, logging everything I eat and all of my workouts.  It seems like a lot of work at first, but it really just takes a few seconds here and there and is kind of addictive!  Not to mention sooo motivating.  Come join and be a pal if you haven't already!

xo,
~C~

weigh to go: 2 months in

Click here for the previous update.

I was disappointed the last time I posted because I was doing SO well following my plan for dieting and exercising only to gain weight.  I've increased my water intake significantly, stayed the course overall, and am continuing to lose weight.  With my goal being to lose 20-24 pounds (and maintain in that range thereafter), I am over halfway there.  As of last Friday, I've lost 12.8 pounds.  

What's working right now continuing to log all of my calories -- yes, EVERYTHING I eat, on MyFitnessPal.  It definitely helps me focus, make better decisions, and plan ahead for what/how much I am going to eat throughout the day.  I'm trying to incorporate snacks between meals to keep my metabolism busy but it's hard to do when I'm counting calories and have to ration enough for meals on days when I don't hit the gym (MyFitnessPal gives me more calories to eat when I exercise -- hello, motivation to go to the gym right there!). 

What's also working is planning to cheat.  In other words, I give myself something to look forward to and that helps me maintain while that cheat day is approaching.  Last week it was enchiladas, chips & queso, and a margarita with a friend on Friday night.  I ended up eating twice as many calories as I was supposed to for the day, and guess what? It's fine.  Not every day, but once every couple of weeks is fine.  I'm still losing weight and honestly?  I was probably eating that many calories EVERY day before January.  Yikes.  Having an awareness of this completely changes the way I look at my food, and yes, other people's food as well.  I just want to make better choices, be around for a long time, and set a good example for my kids.  

What's essential to my success so far and going forward is reminding myself that I am not in a race to lose the weight and get in better shape.  I'm determined to make this a lifestyle change.

Going to the gym makes me feel stronger, more energetic, and accomplished. I love how I feel leaving the gym.  I love being able to say that I pushed myself.  I even love wearing my sweaty clothes out of there like a badge of honor.  Take that, fat.  Keep crying! I am taking control of my life, my health, and my body.  I'm not letting my body control me.  I feel proud when I resist a cupcake here, a donut there, and a latte every morning.  I'm having fun searching for and testing healthy recipes for my family.  

I know I'm only 2 months in, but I like where this is headed.  Dramatic weight loss or not, I like feeling better and fitting in my clothes better.  

xo,

~C~

weigh to go.

I just thought I would provide an occasional update on my efforts to live a little healthier, lose some weight, and gain more energy that I talked about a lot in some previous posts.  I've been dieting since Jan 2 and exercising since a couple weeks after that.  My longterm goal is to just be more active, maintain a healthy weight, and engage in lots of physical activities as a family.  To get there, I gave myself a shorter term goal of losing 20-24 pounds (and stay in that range thereafter) and exercising 3-4x per week.

Weight lost:  Two weeks ago I would have been proud to tell you that I had lost 9 pounds, but unfortunately that's no longer the case.  At my weigh-in two Fridays ago I had gained 1.8 of that back and then last Friday, another 1.6. So for now, my total weight loss is 5.6 lbs until I weigh again this Friday.  The thing is, I didn't even cheat much.  Not enough to be packing on over 3 lbs in 2 weeks.  I'm not sure what's going on but I was pretty bummed last Friday when I got on the scale. All I know is I'm not giving up.  I'm trying to increase my water intake since I do tend to eat a lot of pre-packaged (high sodium) foods for breakfast and lunch that may increase my water retention.

I'm having to pep talk the girl in the mirror (but not while looking in the mirror, that would be weird) to remind myself that I'm still exercising more than I have in the past three years.  That I'm not trying to lose 24 lbs in 2 months.  My goal is to lose the weight before we go to Disney in October.  My goal is for this current healthy living, that can be a struggle at times, to turn into a way of life by October.  I want to have energy and make good food decisions 90% of the time.  That there's more going on here than the numbers on the scale.  That if I keep doing what I have been doing for the past 6+ weeks, there's no way that I won't lose the weight eventually. 

How are you doing on your goals for this year?

~C~

now or never

We had big plans of going to Tennessee to visit our one-week-new niece, Penelope, this weekend but both boys had colds and by Friday, it seemed that Theo's was getting worse instead of better.  Turns out, it's just a junky cough that has not changed one.bit. since late Thursday night.  He acts like he feels fine so who knows if it was/is anything contagious.  Dexter hasn't (yet) developed a cough.  We worried about the car ride, them sleeping somewhere else, and mainly, that Penelope would catch it.  As much as I wanted to go to Tennessee, I knew the right thing to do was to stay away from a 5 day old baby while the kids were not 100%.  Despite being super bummed, we made the most of our weekend.  Friday afternoon the weather was nice so we took the opportunity to play outside and go for a quick wagon ride.  Unfortunately we only made it about four houses down the road where a few neighbors were gathered, chatting. Even though I really wanted to bust on down the road and burn some calories, I stood and chatted for a few minutes as well.  Afterwards, Theo was ready to go back home.

Saturday we mainly relaxed around the house doing stuff like this:

then ventured out at dinnertime for Cheeseburger in Paradise.  COASTAL TACOS, y'all!!

I remembered a Groupon I bought for a bouncy place so we took advantage of that today.  The boys just loved it.  I was excited because I remembered taking Malachi (my nephew) when he was three and sweating to the oldies right there with him.  I figured we'd all get some exercise.  I was figured right about that part.  I figured we'd stay for about an hour. I figured wrong.  We were there almost two hours.  I was begging the boys for a break, "hey, aren't you thirsty? Don't you need a sip of water?"  Really, it was a lot of fun.

I couldn't hear him, but I know this face + clap = "Yay! I deeed it!"

wee!

quite possibly Theo's favorite part

After almost 2 hours of bouncing, we went across the street to Bajio, where we had a coupon. Can you tell I love a deal?

Woody was the only one that didn't have a hard time staying awake on the way home.  Also? Maybe one of my favorite pictures. EVER.

It was almost 2 by the time we got home and the boys were bushed.  I have been telling myself since January 1st that I was going to re-join the gym.  I snuck back out as soon as we got Dexter in bed and joined the Y.

 Since I had worn my yoga pants to the bounce place, I figured I may as well take advantage of the facilities and get in a little work out.  I only did 35 minutes on the elliptical.  I only burned 220 calories.  I kept telling myself how pathetic it was that this was wearing me out. Then I pep talked myself (silently of course).  Although I was struggling, at least I was making myself do it.  It felt good to move my body instead of spending the boys' nap taking a nap myself.  Those 220 calories are the only ones I've burned on purpose since Theo was about 4 months old.  Those 220 calories made me sweat like I haven't since Theo was about 4 months old.  Seriously.  The more I thought about it, the prouder I felt of myself for taking this initiative to take back control of my life.

"Yay! I deeeeed it!"

I was active with my kids today. It was fun.  I did something for myself by working out and I felt accomplished afterwards.  I don't want to be skinny minny, I just want to feel good. I want to have energy left at the end of the day to do something besides just lay on the couch playing dumb games on my phone.  I want to be able to wear shorts at Disney World in the fall and not feel disgusting.  I'm trying.  And that's the most I've done in a long time.

looking up,

~C~

what has worked before

In my post yesterday, I got pretty down on myself while writing about my intentions for 2013.  Then today, I got some of the sweetest, kindest comments and compliments via text, PHONE CALLS (actual phone calls!), and Facebook comments. My favorite was the person that told me to make my next resolution to write a list of all the wonderful things I HAVE accomplished.  Good point. If you were one of those people, I wanted you to know that you brightened my day so THANK YOU.

In the social worky world, there's a thing about "starting where your client is."  That means you ask the client where they would like to start...what's their priority... and throw out your idea of what you think they should work on.  Also in the social worky world, there's a thing about empowering your client. You ask them about times when they have been successful at dealing with the thing that is troubling them now.

So let me get a little bit social worky on myself.  Here's where I am.  I'm at the ready-to-change stage.  I just need a push in the right direction.  I've resolved to not let this situation (my body/health/weight) get any worse.  I've talked to my husband about us doing P90X together but I'm not there yet.  I have had some successes in the past at losing weight and getting in shape.  It felt great. I'm going to re-visit some of those  same techniques and see if I can get my motivation mojo back somehow.

1. Use a pedometer.  I started doing this 5 years ago and it spurred me on to a wonderful health kick for 8+ months.  I'm not sure exactly what the downfall was but I was in about the best shape of my life - not just thin but active and healthy.  I was competing against myself to have more steps/physical activity then I did before.  Naturally this led to eating better because I didn't want to just pack back on all the calories I had worked so hard to burn.

2.  Log food intake.  I started doing this 9+ yrs ago shortly after I got married and lost a lot of weight (too much really...5'7" and 113 lbs).  I was not exercising at that time and I was limiting my calories beyond necessity but it worked.  And I have done this (log food intake, not starve myself) each and every time I've been successful at losing weight/adopting a healthier lifestyle.  If I don't pay attention, and I mean REALLY pay attention, to what I'm eating, I just don't care.  I don't care how many calories I'm consuming, how much fat I'm eating, or how many sugary drinks I'm gulping down with hundreds of wasted calories.  When I'm keeping track of my food intake, every single thing I put in my mouth gets logged.  So whether it's because I'm conscious of my calories for the day or if it's because I don't want to eat something for the simple fact that I will have to take the time to log it, it makes me aware.  It makes me eat less/healthier/better....which leads to weight loss.  I've used fitday.com in the past ... right now I'm trying My Fitness Pal since it's a nice and easy mobile app.

3.  Drink more water.  I've allowed myself to slip back into the habit of drinking sweet tea nonstopalldayeveryday.  Every time I go out to eat.  I will say that I've gotten better about stopping at McDonald's for a large Styrofoam jug cup of that sweet goodness.  I used to make a special trip OUT OF THE HOUSE for this nonsense.  Not so much anymore.  I can make calorie free sweet tea with Splenda at home that tastes just as good to me so I need to get my fix at home and make myself get water the rest of the time.

4.  Be active.  Even if it's just little bit.  I don't enjoy working out, but I enjoy making progress and I enjoy the way I feel when I'm done working out.  I enjoy feeling better and not getting out of breath doing simple things.  I enjoy fitting in my clothes and not being too humiliated to wear a swimsuit.  I love hiking.  I love just walking around the neighborhood.  There are plenty of things I can do that I DO enjoy. The point is, I need to do something. I have to.  I want my kids to see me being active and I want them to be active with me.  I want to be active with them. I want to have the energy to do the things I picture us doing as a family.

What has helped you achieve your weight loss goals?  Or what has motivated you to get off the couch?

Any tips/pointers/advice would be appreciated.  :)

xo,
~C~