Thursday, October 25, 2012

try #2

Theo was pretty excited about using the potty a few months ago.  I blogged about and everything so you know it was like...whoa. He did really well. I didn't wanna push him or stress him out. We got busy working on the house and I didn't feel like it was my mother-in-law's job to potty train my kid. So I slacked off and Theo got lazy. He hearts a diaper. 

I would talk to him about it from time to time.  Suggested wearing underwear.  He'd blatantly refuse. Throw fits. I quit asking. Here we are, weeks since the last time he'd worn underwear or peed in the potty.  I don't know why, but a little over a week ago I started negotiating with him. I told him if he wanted to play outside, I needed him to wear underwear. He told me "mommy, I'll pee in the grass."  I said that was fine, no big deal, but if he did, we'd have to stop playing to come in and get cleaned up. No accidents.
The next day I asked him if he would just wear underwear in the car in the way to the sitter's house. He caved for a sticker. The next day was tougher. He was crying and throwing a fit. I asked why and he said he didn't want to poop in his underwears (he's never dropped a deuce in the toilet).  I explained that he had already pooped that morning so he would be fine. No problems. That was last Friday.
He's very aware of when he has his diaper vs. underwear on. He asks "am I wearing underwears still?" "Can I pee in my diaper?" Etc. He is smart enough to do it...he totally gets it. Now it's just a matter of consistency on my part. He has to learn that this is the norm. This is what's expected.  He's worn underwear to the sitter the last 7 days that he's gone and then worn his underwear all day except for nap & bedtime. I think he's had 2 accidents.
Now if I could figure out how to get him to poop in the toilet. What's that all about?

Sunday, October 21, 2012

if you really knew me

You'd know that I suck at crowds and I'm not great with strangers. I have some social anxiety, which I guess is linked to my not-so-fabulous self esteem. You'd know that I'm incredibly shy and if I feel awkward around someone, I'll probably just make an excuse to slip away.  I'm good one on one, or even talking to a couple new people at once...but only if they're more talkative than me. No crowds of new people please. I hate the spotlight. Being the guest of honor at a party or event gives me bubble guts. 

You'd know I hate onions and Brad Paisley, but I love chili and Sugarland. You'd know I met my husband at Disney World and that we were in a long distance relationship for almost four years before we got married.

You'd know I sleep on my stomach, I love animated movies (Little Mermaid especially), and I'm grumpy if I don't wake up on my own. You'd know I used to want a little girl so bad that I said if I had two boys, I'd try one more time for a girl (and you'd know I've changed my mind).

You'd know that I didn't have my first kiss until I was 15 and that I have never used drugs. None. Never. You'd know my 2 bestest friends from high school are both named Emily and that I spent so much time with them that they became an entity known as "the Emilies" for years. You'd know that my mama treats those girls like family.

You'd know I love my babies more than anything in the whole wide world and that I'd do anything to make them smile. You'd know that I'm quick to lose my patience and that I often second guess my parenting. You'd know that my little family is my world and I'm doing my best for them.

Thanks to Sarah for the inspiration.


Friday, October 19, 2012

sometimes i want more. less.

Can I pour my heart out for a minute? 

Becoming a mother, without a doubt, was the greatest gift of my life.  The most monumental honor, privilege, and responsbility that has ever been given to me.  I dreamed having a child since I was a child myself.  Envisioned myself with a pregnant belly, breathing "hee hee hoo" through labor, and kissing that precious, pink, screaming baby when the doctor laid him on my chest.  Minus the "hee hee hoo," all of that pretty much happened like it was supposed to. 

It's amazing.  Phenomenal.  Words can't really even describe the love and emotions I have felt since becoming a mother.  It's the most beautiful, heart-wrenching experience.  Each day I look at my kids and I'm proud of them.  Literally - my pride and joy. I have real conversations with Theo that make me laugh and beam.  

But other times, I think about how much my life has changed.  For the better? Without a doubt.  For the worse? Yeah, that too.  Yep, I said it.

When I am not at work, I give my family 110% of myself.  It might be too much.  I don't have anything left to give to anyone else, including myself.  99% of the time, I don't even answer the phone if I am with my family.  Granted, part of that is out of respect for the person calling me because there's a good chance my kids will be yelling in the background anyway.  Lately I just don't have that much quality time to spend with my kids and husband, so when I'm with them, I'm with them.  Make sense?

I have friends that I used to talk to on the phone  For hour.  I used to spend time with my friends.  I used to drive long distances to see friends. I would sing loud in the car to music I liked. I used to go to concerts and bookstores and coffee shops and just hang out.  I don't need a break from my kids - I just need time for friends.  Time for myself.

When I had kids, everything changed.  For the most part, my bond with kidless friends faded and bonds with other people that have kids have grown.   Because of a couple reasons, I guess.  1. Because the kidless friends don't always understand that 8pm dinner doesn't cut it anymore.  I have to be home by 8 so the kids can be in bed by 8:30pm. And yeah ... I wanna be there to tuck them in and kiss them goodnight.  No, I can't just up and leave to meet you at Barnes&Noble at 2:30 in the afternoon. Kids are napping.  Naps are sacred.  SACRED.  2.  Because friends with kids help me cope with the craziness.  Strength in numbers.  Getting together is fun because guess what?  Their house is kid-proof and I don't have to worry as much about what my toddlers can destroy. Also? It's cute to see the kids developing their own friendships.

The thing about kids with friends though...there are always kids.  I love the kids.  Theirs. Mine.  Theirs and mine together.  But there's never an opportunity for adult female friends to just hang out as adult female friends and not as moms, whose conversations are always interrupted by diapers, tantrums, spilled plates, and the like.

I miss having friends.  Time with friends.  Having a family and being a mom is how I identify myself 100% of the time.  99% of the time, I'm fine with that.  I don't ever want to give that up.  I just want to find that other person who still lives inside of me.  Her name is Candice.  The friend.  The wife.  The music lover, movie goer, book reader, gym visitor, phone answerer, blogger, Candice. 

Do you ever feel this way?  Please tell me I'm not alone.  (Because that would probably mean I'm just a selfish person and terrible mom in general).


Thursday, October 4, 2012

a new old toy, long hair, and decorations

We're still staying with Ryan's parents, and they have a huge driveway with a long hill.  The boys love driving their riding toys up and down the hill.  Dexter was feeling pretty good about swooping in and calling dibs on Theo's current favorite - the Radio Flyer tricycle.  

Theo didn't care, he'd already called dibs on the Cozy Coupe police car.  He likes both the Radio Flyer trike and the Cozy Coupe because they both have a little "trunk" he can keep his collection in.  His collection changes from day to day.  On this day, it was Chuggington die cast trains.  Some days it's screwdrivers.  Some days it's coconuts.  And by coconuts, he means acorns.  

We're enjoying mild weather, so as the boys played, I admired my mother-in-law's new decorations. 

I remembered that we had yet to open one of Theo's belated birthday gifts.  It was so hot all summer so I never bothered with it.  My sister got him a little bubble mower.  This thing is so cute and it does not require batteries (and can I get a HOLLA for tool-free assembly?). The boys LOVED it.  It didn't take long before the dear ol' Chuggington collection was tossed to the ground.  Sad situation. 

Dexter was watching Theo dart across the yard with the mower.  I was staring at Dexter's curls, debating whether I should cut them off or not.  Guys - his hair is so long.  Ponytail long.  No lie. But it's so cute and so curly and so blonde.

That's Theo's concentration face.

And that's his "whatchu talkin' about Willis?" face - the one he gave me when I told him to give Dexter a turn. 

It was a fun night.


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

our house: there's more to the story

I was waiting to see what happened before I talked about this, but I guess it's okay now.  I hope it's okay now.

So...flashback to July 27, 2012.  The day we closed on our house.  We had mixed feelings about the house. We went to closing.  As we were walking up to the building, we (sorta) jokingly said, "let's run. What if we don't go in?"  We knew that the house needed SO much work.  A complete remodel.  We signed our names a billion times and the house was ours.  Then, the seller sat back in his chair and told us, long story short, that the basement leaked.  The finished basement leaked.  The same basement they referred to on the sales disclosure that said there was no history of moisture in the basement.  We asked a couple of one seemed to think anything was out of the ordinary.  We were shocked and to be honest, the gravity of what that man said didn't really sink in at the time.  It would take a couple of hours.

We left closing and went to the house.  It felt good walking up to the door and turning the lock with my key. Our key.  It felt good walking in.  It had potential.  Lots.

We went to a Japanese steakhouse for lunch to celebrate and then to a home improvement store to buy some new locks.  Always the first thing you do when you buy a new house, right?  It started raining while we were in the store - we left there and went straight to the house.  We went down to the basement and there it was.  A puddle of water in the corner beneath the window.  UN. BE. LIEVABLE.  Our hearts and stomachs sank.

We talked to realtors. Attorneys.  Friends.  Family.  We were devastated.  We found out that the basement was going to cost thousands and thousands of dollars to repair.  We sent a letter to the seller and they responded.  2+ months later.... I'm happy to say that we have cashed a check from them for the repairs and we didn't have to sue them. I don't know if it was out of kindness or fear that they settled outside of court.  Maybe both.  Doesn't matter.  All that matters now is that the basement repair people know what the heck they're doing and our basement doesn't leak anymore.  We had to remove carpet and drywall and decided to just let it sit unfinished throughout the winter to see if there is any more leaking.  Fingers crossed that we can actually use that additional 1,000+ square feet.  If we can't, then this house was a total waste of money and we should have followed our guts when we were walking through the door at closing.  Turn around. Run the other direction.

I guess we got lucky.  I am pleased that they agreed to pay.  There will always be the fear that the basement will leak again every time there is a big rain.

We still haven't moved in.  We are having carpet installed in the bedrooms this weekend and plan to move in sometime soon after that.  As soon as we can get things put away and furniture re-assembled.  I think Theo is starting to understand.  He knows that's our house, and that we're working on it to make it nice so we can live there.  I don't know what Dexter thinks about it...he just sees it as a big open space to run and play in.  That's really all we wanted for them anyway.

Wish us well...we need to be together as a family.  Working on the house and not spending a lot of time with the boys has been hard on all four of us.

The day we closed. 

After a storm on September 7th.

How our basement looks now.  Not exactly the vision we had for it.

I look forward to the day I can post pictures of our finished basement...many months from now.