Monday, August 29, 2011

baby weight update

I've been hesitant to post any updates on the baby weight because the weight has been hesitant to come off.  So here's a recap, if you're interested.  It's blog posts like these that I remind myself...I am doing this for myself, for my kids, because these are the details that I might try to remember 10 or 30 years from now...because yes, this will probably bore your socks off.

disclaimer: those are not my feet, that is not my scale, and that is DEFINITELY not my weight.

Pregnancy weight gain:  22 pounds

Loss 1 week postpartum: 10 pounds

Loss 2 weeks postpartum:  12 pounds

Loss 3 weeks postpartum: 10 pounds

What?  Yes, that's right, I gained 2 pounds.  So what.  I wasn't diabetic anymore and there were a lot of things I had been craving. 

Loss 6 weeks postpartum: 12 pounds

Aaaaand, cut.  That's pretty much where the weight loss halted.  I was partly scared to weigh myself very often, but I stepped on occasionally, half relieved that I hadn't gained any and half disappointed that I hadn't lost more.  I don't know what it is about that 3 month mark, but that's when I started losing the weight after Theo was born.  Maybe it's because his demand for milk increased so my output increased, meaning that I technically lost more calories.  Maybe it's because I'm back at work (but that doesn't make sense because I sit at a desk and have much less activity).  Maybe it's because I'm pumping 4 times a day now and producing anywhere from 4-10 more ounces than what Dexter is eating from bottles at the babysitter's house. 

Loss 12 weeks postpartum:  14 pounds
Loss 3+ months postpartum: 16 pounds

So, I still have 6 pounds to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight and truly about 10 pounds to go to be super happy with my weight.  I am not freaking out about it taking a while to get the weight off.  I'm still thankful and happy that following the diabetic diet during pregnancy kept my weight gain down to just 22 pounds. 

The real test will be keeping the weight off once Dexter starts eating solids and eventually weans from nursing.  I'd like to adapt a more active lifestyle but it just seems impossible right now to find the time.  In fact, we cancelled our YMCA membership a couple of months ago because it felt like throwing $70 down the drain...I guess technically it was a charitable donation, right?  But I can charitably donate that money to my checking account right now while I figure out how to make time for exercising. 

I bet I'd lose weight a lot faster if I didn't stop at McDonald's for a glorious sweet tea almost every day. 

Thursday, August 25, 2011

m.i.t.m. turns 1!

145 posts later, I guess you could say I've been able to keep up.  I'm averaging a blog every 2.5 days.  I started my blog a year ago today and I didn't know how well I would be able to manage it, my full time job, my full time house, full time husband and full time, er mandatory overtime, 5 month old baby. 

disclaimer:  not my hands.  not my computer.

I became interested in blogs as a reader when I was about 6 months pregnant with Theo.  I started reading and following a few blogs here and there.  Once I came back to work after maternity leave, I realized why there are so many mommy blogs out there.  Okay, so I guess there are some blogs that provide enough of an income that the mama-author can stay home with their kids (mine is certainly not that and will never be).  But mainly, it's a fun way to make friends and get feedback about what's going with your own kids, whether something hilarious or scary is happening.  It's a great way to document the day to day stuff that I know I'd otherwise forget as time is flying by. 

Since I started my blog, so much has changed.  I wasn't even pregnant with Dexter yet and here we are, 12 months later, and I've got a 17 month old and a 3 month old.  I'm glad I had my blog to document my emotional and physical journey through the pregnancy and beyond. 

Sometimes I have to remind myself why I blog.  It's for me.  It's an outlet, a way to express myself.  A place to jot down memories that I don't want to forget.  It's for my kids to read one day.  But at times, I lose sight of that.  I will write what I think is a good post and get no comments.  I will visit other blogs that I love and see how many readers they have.  Then I get down on myself, wondering how to reach more readers, how to become a bigger part of the blogging mommy community.  There's so much support and understanding out there and sometimes I want a piece of that pie.  I want to be funny and smart and well-written, but sometimes none of those things happen.  Especially when I blog just because I haven't blogged in awhile, and not because I have something to say. 

Ultimately, whether I continue with 30 readers or end up with 100 or 1,000 one day, the blog is for me.  It's for my family.  Ultimately, it doesn't matter if I'm funny or smart or well-written because I'm genuine and I'm me.  Ultimately, my blog is me.  Maybe it's too personal sometimes, or maybe it's not personal enough.  Much like my true personality.  If it gets rejected in some way, that's fine.  I was never the popular girl in high school and that turned out alright, so I can handle rejection.  It's a virtual diary and scrapbook, all in one and I'm generally happy about the shape it's taken.


If you're still reading this long, drawn-out entry, thank you.  If you've been reading this blog for the last year, or just the last 10 minutes, thank you.  I submitted my blog to Top Mommy Blogs a couple of weeks ago, hoping to find new friends that share a love of blogging.  My blog is still under review but if and when it is accepted, you can vote once per day.  I'd love it if you'd just vote once each time you read my blog (if you still like it, that is!) 

And comments or no comments, I am going to keep blogging.  But I sure enjoy the feedback and so many of your comments have truly been helpful.  More people comment on facebook where I post the link than on here, and that is fine.  I love all the comments just the same.  But I will be able to save the comments on the blog forever, so I'd love the comments EVEN more if they were on here.

I love you, readers.  All 6 of you.  :)

still bloggin,

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

oh, the things you say

Theo's vocab is blowing up every day.  There are things he says that I don't understand, but many more that I do.  I've been trying to remember his first real words, and not just da-da-da-da, because it was more of a sound than a word back then.  The first things I remember him really saying unprompted were "moo" and "shoe," which sounded more like "oooh" and "tsoo."  Here's the list of things I can think of off the top of my head that he's saying now.

see the boo boo on his lip?

moos when he sees a cow
oinks like a pig when he sees one
coal (cold)
pence (his cousin, Spencer...usually sounds more like "piss") haha!
woofs like a dog when dogs or puppies are mentioned/seen
hoots like an owl when owls are mentioned or seen
roh-ro (Rocco, the babysitter's dog)
wawa (water, wagon, waffle)
mick (milk)
nigh-nigh (night night)
bun-bun (stuffed bunny)
poe (pillow)
boo (boo, blue)
bye bye
poo (poop)
bi-pah or sometimes pie-pah (diaper)
cone (corn)
pay (plate)
boon (spoon)
key-key (cookie)
ka-kah (cracker)
Deh-dur (Dexter)
chirps when he sees a bird
hoe (home)
eh (egg)
cake (cake, pancake)
choo choo
cah (car)
mih-mee (Mickey)
chun (Chuggington)
buh-bow (bubbles)
cheesh (cheese)
buh (bug)
pa or pa-pa (pacifier)
bock (block)
boo boo
han (hand)
tee (teeth)
no (nose)
ee (ear)
hay (hair, head)
doh (door)
cock (clock! I swear!)
shuwt (shirt)
tra-tah (tractor)
bi (bike, motorcycle)
cap (clap)
stah (star)
ray (red)
nana (banana)
gape (grape)
mo' (more)
ssss (snake, Sylvie - our cat)
rog (frog)
sah-lee (Sally)
shishy (fishy)
and finally, the occasional s-bomb...shet... (we may need to clean up our language now...could be worse, right?)

He has words for belly, belly button, bagel, walk, circle, mailbox, camera and other words that I can't think of how he pronounces them.  I'm sure there are more that I'm forgetting.  If there aren't more today, there will be by tomorrow.  I love watching him learn and make connections at this age.  It's so much fun and really cute how he whispers new words when he is trying them out on his tongue. 

What do you think?  Is he talking a lot for a 17 month old or is this pretty typical?


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

don't leave, summer. i love you.

Know what I love about summer?  Almost everything.  Although the heat was unbearable most days this summer, I'll still take the sweat dripping down my back over goose bumps on my elbows.  I hate the cold.  And I live in the wrong place to hate the cold.  Even though the highs are still reaching 90 around here, I can already feel winter coming on and it gives me the blues.  Knowing that by the time it gets hot again, I'll have a 2 year old and a 1 year old really gives me the blues.  Winters just last too long around here. 

I love flip flops. 

Lazy days on rubber rafts, just floatin' in the lake.

Grilled dinners.

Melty ice cream cones.

Evenings at the park.

Sweet summer corn on the cob.

The state fair.  It's been a week and a half now since we went, but here is a mini photo album of our fun-filled day. 

see that thing to the left of R's head?  that's the stage that collapsed.  so sad.
we had beautiful weather.
couldn't take it anymore.
looking very old-man-ish here
grilled cheese and milkshakes from the Dairy Bar.  one of our faves.
driving the tra-tah!
time for a short stroller snooze.
so in love with his $3 tra-tah souvie!

And that, my friends, was our trip to the fair. 

until next year,

Wednesday, August 17, 2011 what? (part 2)

First, I want to thank the friends that commented on Facebook and on my blog with your wonderful suggestions.  I will try them all.  Feel free to lend any other helpful tips that you've learned by trial and error.

I just had a few other thoughts about this stage and age and the last blog on this subject was getting too long. 

Theo has picked up on what he has to do to get a reaction out of us.  I don't know what he's hoping to achieve because it isn't a pleasant reaction, but I'm seeing an ugly pattern that I don't exactly know how to curtail.  Whenever Theo isn't getting his way, he'll do something just to piss me off.  That's the way I see it anyway.  I'm not sure what his true intentions are.  I'm thinking he just wants to show me who's who in our relationship.  He knows the things he isn't supposed to do, so he'll go straight to one of those no-no behaviors when he's not getting what he wants and before you know it, he's in double trouble. 


Theo has some cardboard touch and feel flash cards and he knows he's not supposed to bend them or chew on them. 

Me:  Theo.  NO!  Don't bend your flash cards.  Not nice.  You will hurt them. 

Theo:  bendy bendy bendy, Ha! Ha! 

Me:  getting up, chasing after him, Hey.  I said no!

Theo:  running faster, bendy bendy, Ha!

Me:  catching him, snatching the card out of his hand, I said NO.  We don't bend the cards.  Not nice.  Turning away, feeling like the victor.

Theo:  runs to pick up a MegaBlock, attempts to pound it into Dexter's soft spot and gets within an inch of doing just that before I grab his wrist.  He looks at me as if to say in a sinister voice, If you don't let me destroy all my stuff, I'll destroy everything that matters to you. Bending a flash card doesn't seem so bad now, DOES IT LADY? Muuuuahahahaha. 

Okay, Theo doesn't have a sinister voice.  But if he did, it would be perfect for those moments.  Time out ensues.  Did he win, after all?  Because you know the time out debacle is him getting lots of attention for acting like a crazed lunatic. 

I feel a disclaimer coming on.  Let me back up a second.  I don't want to paint a picture of this terrible little boy.  These frustrations I'm having last moments.  There are certainly times when Theo can be completely darling.  Sure, he's frustrating a lot of the time right now.  But he's also smart and amazing and cute and funny and and and and... you know.  The list goes on.  I love him like crazy.  I can't imagine being more proud of any accomplishment, ever in my life, than my kids.

Point is, I feel like I'm losing ground.  I want to be a good mom.  I want to raise good kids that turn into good grown-ups.  I want them to feel loved and I want them to have everything they need (and then some).  Every piece of me wants to spoil them rotten but at the same time, I want them to know what earning money value of their belongings and each other.  I want them to respect me and love me.  I want them to look up to me.  I want to be the one they run to when they need a hug.  I want to be a good role model for them.  Not through yelling, smacking their hands, and shoving them into the corner.  So I guess what I'm asking is this:  Is it too early to worry about all this?  Or too late?  From what I hear, it's only going to get worse.  A. Lot. Worse.

I need advice about what to do in those moments.  The real crazy ones that make me want to scream into my pillow.  Hey.  I should try that - maybe Theo would think I was just crazy enough not to mess with.  Eh, probably not.   


p.s.  Dexter laughed, for real giggles, last night.  Sweetest sound and best feeling ever, when your baby laughs like that.  Why can't they always be that adorable?

Monday, August 15, 2011 what? (part 1)

Lately Theo has had some extreme ups and downs.  You know how everyone always says their kid is hitting the terrible 2s early?  I made a comment to that effect to a friend, V, who has a teenage daughter, B.

Me:  He acts so crazy.  I don't know what to do with him.  I guess he's hitting the terrible 2s early.

V:  Winces.  That's what I said about B.  Then she turned 2.

Me:  Are you serious!?  It got a lot worse?

V:  Yeah.  She hit me, she bit me, she wouldn't do anything I said.  It was so frustrating.

Me:  Winces.  Yikes.  R's mom says that he was a really bad toddler.  He would yell at her and she thought she'd go nuts.  She was a stay at home mom and she had to start a bunch of hobbies, just to get her mind off of it.  At least he was good when he got older.  That gives me hope.

V:  Winces.  Not B.  She got worse.  She turned 10 and I thought "well, she's just hitting puberty early"...then she hit puberty.  She turned 13 and I thought "the worst is over."  Then she turned 14.

Me:  V!  You're not making me feel any better about this!


I told B's dad about this conversation a couple days later via text message.  His response:

R:  Yeah.  I think she is literally trying to give me a heart attack sometimes.

Soooo...question.  What are you supposed to do?  I don't think R&V did anything wrong.  In fact, I think B is a lovely girl, but I'm not her mother.  Or her father.  BUT.  I am Theo's mother (wince) and I don't want to raise a hellion.  How much craziness is normal?  How much insanity should I expect?  I might not be the most patient person in the world, but I try to keep in mind that this testing-the-limits phase we're in is normal.  He doesn't understand how to value his belongings yet or that throwing them might mean breaking them, which might mean they are gone forever.  He doesn't understand how badly his brother can be hurt if he shoves a hard plastic toy in his face or the corner of a book into his thigh.  He doesn't understand that throwing every bit of food on his plate to the ground and screaming at the table and trying to climb out of the high chair is very distracting and annoying to everyone else in the restaurant. 

But, without a doubt, he understands "no."  So how much of the bad behavior should I tolerate?  We have started sitting him in timeout when he blatantly and repeatedly ignores "no" or breaks a rule.  He cries initially, but then he just hops right up in an attempt to go finish whatever naughty job he started.  He looks at us and laughs as if to say "ha ha ha ha ha ha SUCKAS!  Whatchoo gonna do about it now?"  And we are rendered useless.  Half the time we will break down laughing (not effective) and the rest of the time we just give up because we've been fighting getting him to sit there for over 10 minutes when time out is only supposed to last for 1 minute (also not effective...uh, what was he in time out for again??).

I don't want to get into these power struggles day after day but I don't want to create a monster either.  I only get to see him for 2 1/2 - 3 hours per day when I work.  What fun is it for us to be together if the whole time is spent trying to get him to sit back down in time out long enough for me to be the one to tell him he can get up?

Some days I am determined to be super consistent with time outs so that he learns to obey and eventually everyone will say "oh, those sweet little boys...they always mind their manners so well."  Maybe that's not in the cards.  Maybe it's going to be more like "here come those damn boys, get your gun."  Is there such a thing as a well-behaved toddler?  Other days, I look at his tiny little body sitting there on the tile foyer and into his big, sad, full-of-tears eyes and my heart breaks.  I wonder if he really understands what is going on.  Is he too young for this?  I don't want to be the person always making him sad.   

If the "terrible 2s" are much worse than the "troublesome 1s," what am I going to do when Theo and Dexter are in cahoots a year from now and they are working together for evil against me?  Sure am glad they will be out of toddlerhood long before they can read this.  Who knows what they would do with the knowledge that I am feeling weak, inadequate, and helpless.  Never let them see me crack, right? 

Has anyone mastered the mighty toddler successfully?  Or do I just suck at this...


Saturday, August 13, 2011

Dear Dexter (three month letter)

Dear Dexter,

Where do I begin?  What do I love most about three-month-old you?  Hard to say but it is somewhere between your smile and your snuggles.  I love the way you calm down when you are placed in my arms.  I love watching you slip into dreams with your head inside the bend of my elbow.  I love kissing the top of your head with my eyes closed and breathing in your scent.  In those moments, nothing else matters.  I love the softness of your skin and the weight of your small body. 

minutes old

I went back to work full-time this week and it has been so hard on me.  I can't say for sure, but I think you have been pretty relieved to see me at the end of the day, too.  You aren't used to being away from me so much and I feel the same way.  It was so nice spending those first 12 weeks together, wasn't it?  We've chosen a wonderful babysitter to look after you while we're apart and Theo loves her.  You will too. 

4 days old

You smile all the time and it makes me laugh every time I see your wet pink gums.  A mommy forgets that toothless grin once teeth have filled up her baby's mouth.  You have just one dimple, just like mommy and Theo.  Right now, your eyes are still blue and I hope they stay that way.  Most people say you look like me and I have blue eyes, so I'm staying optimistic.  Your gramps had blue eyes too, you know.  I took after him, just like you take after me. 

2 weeks old

Just an observation - it's funny that Theo takes after your daddy but he's named after mine.  You, Dexter Jay, are named after your daddy's dad and you take after me.  We call you Dexter Jay a lot more than we ever call your brother Theodore Jack.  You go by Dex a lot of the time, especially when I'm writing your name.  We call you Bit Bit sometimes - a variation of Lil' Bit that came about shortly after we brought you home from the hospital.  Other nicknames that slip out on occasion include Desster, Dexy, Deester, and Deezy.  Your dad called you Pizza Face when you had baby acne and I told him that was mean.  Then he called you Scales when you had cradle cap.  I yelled at him for that, too.  You're welcome.  I'm here for you. 

almost a month old

I don't know how long Bit Bit will be appropriate.  You are growing faster than your big brother did at this age.  I remember when we first sent him to the babysitter, he drank 3oz bottles.  You aren't even satisfied with 4oz bottles anymore.  You are a hungry little man and you love your milk.  Lately I've noticed you looking at our plates as you sit with us in the Bumbo at the dinner table.  Thank goodness for the Bumbo, Dexter Jay.  Until about 2 weeks ago, you made us hold you, without fail, every time we sat down to dinner.  Now you've realized that you can see everything much better from the Bumbo and you love it!  You'll sit there for as long as 30 minutes sometimes. 

6 weeks old

You are getting strong.  You don't need any help at all holding your head up and you can do mini-pushups when placed on your belly.  You can stand on my lap and bear your own weight for up to a minute or two sometimes now.  Your grip is like no other baby's grip I have ever felt!  You must know that you'll have to be tough to survive Hurricane Theodore.  No worries, I think people will be mistaking you two for twins in 4 or 5 year and you may be bigger than him before you go to middle school.  It's going to be so interesting and fun, watching you grow up together.

father's day ~6 weeks old

You are still wearing 0-3 month clothes and I'm glad.  We have so many cute things of Theo's left for you to wear, plus all the new stuff you've gotten from your grandmas and friends.  Speaking of clothes, we change yours a lot.  Sometimes you puke for no apparent reason and other times, your diaper just can't contain all that you have to give.  Then there's the times when you get so sweaty riding in the carseat that your back is soaked by the time we get where we're going.  That's probably the one thing that makes you the angriest that I can't fix.  You're hot-natured like your brother and dad.

4th of July parade

Riding in the car is hit or miss.  Sometimes you go right to sleep.  Other times you scream (usually because of the sweatiness, I think).  My favorite times are when you are calm and alert, looking around and absorbing the world all around you.  It's a big world, Dexter Jay.  Bigger than you'll probably ever know.  But I hope you get a chance to explore every corner of it that interests you because it is simply spectacular.  And the world is more amazing now because you are a part of it.  I haven't seen as much of the world as I hope to one day, but I know one thing.  My world is perfect now, because you are here. 

2 months old

Sleep... I was so worried that nighttime would be a nightmare for your dad once I went back to work.  We weren't as good about getting you into a bedtime routine as we were your brother.  But you have kinda made your own way in that area.  You get sleepy anywhere between 8 and 9:30 so we'll hold you in the living room (or rock you in your room, now that it's no longer a guest bedroom as well) and kiss your little cheek before we say good night and lay you in your crib.  In the last week, you've only woken up once before it was time to get up and your dad just held and rocked you for a few minutes and you went right back to bed.  Nice of you to start that just as soon as I went back to work.  I think you know I'm gone, so you know there's nothing to wake up for.  But that's just between you and me, kid.

11 weeks old

12 weeks old

And finally, baths.  Bathtime is weird.  Sometimes you scream bloody murder like I just sat you on hot coals (I always check the temperature of the water before I put you in!) and sometimes you are just fine.  I never know what to expect.  I hope you learn to like the water soon, because you've got a lot of lake swimmin' to do next year.

first bath with Theo - 3 weeks old (and then you pooped).
So, also your last bath with Theo.

Yesterday, for your 13 week birthday (ok not for but on) we went to the fair.  Hard to believe you are already a quarter of the way to your first birthday.  It's just flying by too fast.  Can you slow down just a little bit for mom?  Please, Bit Bit?

I'm lucky to be your mama and I hope we'll always be close. 

I love you,

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

junk: why working sucks

Our evenings are jam-packed now that I am back to work.  Here's a sample schedule:

4pm: Alarm goes off.  Get up.  Pump.  Make bottles for the next day.  Shower.  Throw a load of laundry in the washer.

4:45pm:  Leave to pick up the kids.

5pm:  Arrive at the babysitter's house and fetch the children.

5:15pm:  Get home and start dinner.  Feed Dexter.

6:00pm: Eat dinner.

6:20pm:  Clean up dinner.  Put away leftovers.  Wash pots and pans.  Load the dishwasher.  Wash that day's bottles.  Wash the pump parts. 

7:00pm:  Play with the kids. 

7:30pm:  Lay the kids' clothes out for the next day.  Fix Theo's night night milk and get the babies in pajamas.  Give Theo his milk and get him in bed.

8pm:  Feed Dexter and get him in bed. 

8:30pm: Pack my lunch.  Pack the pump bag.  Pick up the mess of toys and books scattered across the living room (but why?). 

8:58pm:  Remember that I started the washer earlier and toss the clothes in the dryer.

9:00pm: Kiss my husband and run out the door.  Enjoy 20 minutes of complete calm as I drive to work.

9:30pm-8am:  Work. 

8:30am:  Get home from work.  Throw the clothes from the dryer onto the couch and hope that someone folds them later today.  Tomorrow would even be good.  Hell, let's just shoot for getting it done before they're all dirty again.  Empty my lunch box.  Pump.  Refrigerate milk and calculate whether I've made enough ounces for the day.  Give myself a pat on the back if I have and start panicking if I haven't.  Go to bed. 

9:00am - 4pm:  Sleep.  Or try to, anyway.

Did you notice the one tiny time slot called "Play with the kids" from 7-7:30pm?  This is why working sucks.  And not just working, but the pumping.  So much time is spent washing and preparing bottles.  Pumping.  Packing the pump bag.  Unpacking the pump bag.  Cleaning the pump parts.  I know it's worth it and I'm glad that I can give my baby the gift of breast milk but seriously.  It would be so much easier if I were a stay-at-home mom.  Not life in general, necessarily... but the breastmilking part fo sho. 

I shouldn't complain because some people aren't able to breastfeed for whatever reason.  That would be devastating for me.  But, the truth is this, people:  it's a lot of work.  I love nursing.  There are quiet, peaceful, intimate bonding moments in nursing.  Pumping, not as much. 

The evenings are about all that day to day maintenance, or more appropriately - junk - when every fiber of me is looking for an excuse hold Dexter while he's not attached to me.  To look into his blue eyes and mirror his smile subconsciously as he gazes up at me.  Or to chase Theo down the hall as he looks back at me and realizes I'm closing in on him, causing him to erupt with laughter and run a little bit faster. 

The evenings are supposed to be about chatting with Theo over a favorite book or leisurely strolls around the neighborhood as a family.  Or laughing at a funny line and dancing to a catchy beat in the Cars movie that we have watched for what seems like the 100th time in half as many days. 

Instead, they are full of junk.   Maybe the weight of my first full week back is bearing down on me.  Maybe it's just harder being away from Dexter because I know first hand how soon he will be as big and independent as Theo.  I'm trying to savor every second with him and it's hard to do when they are so few and squeezed amidst all the junk. 

Those boys are my heart and soul.  Man, I miss them.  Working sucks. 


Friday, August 5, 2011

play date!

Theo has a couple of friends.  What I mean by "friends" is that I am friends with their mommies and we get together so that we can watch them "play."  I am using quotation marks simply because, as you know if you have or have had a toddler, they don't really play together.  They play near each other and sometimes acknowledge each other, but they don't play cooperatively yet.  Regardless, it's cute and a great excuse to get together with my fellow mommy friends. 

When Dexter was just a week or two old, R took Theo for a wagon ride around the neighborhood for a little one on one time and to get him out of the house for awhile.  While they were exploring, a woman stopped them to ask where we got our cute wagon.  Upon talking, the lady explained that she had a son just three months older than Theo and expressed an interest in getting her little boy, L, together with Theo to play.

Throughout my maternity leave, R mentioned repeatedly that we should call L's mom.  He finally called her Sunday and set up a play date at the playground for Thursday. 



Theo was quick to find a stick to carry around the park.

They had fun climbing on and playing inside of the jungle gym.

L gave Theo a lesson in swinging on the big kid swings.

He did pretty well!

It was fun meeting and L and we hope to see him again soon. 

Dexter went with us to the park but I was busy snapping pictures of the big boys and forgot to take any of him. He was content watching Theo and L run around the park and playground.  After we got home, Dex was happy to relax on my lap and cool off under the fan. 

cheers to new friends.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

hi-ho hi-ho.

I did it.  After 12 not-always-glorious (okay, rarely glorious) weeks off, I went back to work.  I moaned a bit about having to go back on a Wednesday, which is my Friday, but it worked out just fine.  It was kind of a good transition shift.  I think I'd be more depressed if I'd gone back with a full 40 hour work week in front of me.  Okay, 37.5 hour work week (I work for the state). 

I felt like a rusty old machine when I got to work but before I left for the day, I was getting back into the swing of it.  Regardless, it didn't make it any easier to leave the house last night when it was time to make the drive downtown to work.

I dropped the boys off after lunch yesterday so I could squeeze in an afternoon nap and lingered....and lingered....and lingered a bit.  What?  As it turns out, Dexter was hungry.  What's the point of wasting a bottle and having to go home and pump when I could just hold him and snuggle up to him and smell his little head and kiss his face and ... oh yeah, feed him, for just a few minutes. 

I thought it would be easier the second time around since I know and love our babysitter.  Not so.  Apparently the sadness I felt with Theo was only partially due to the fact that I was leaving him with a complete stranger.  Now that complete stranger is the person I trust totally and completely with my boys.  But it didn't matter.  I still cried on the way home, thinking about the fact that I've spent 12 weeks with Dexter and I'll never get them back.  I'll never be able to spend that much time with him again.  I guess it's about quality and not quantity sometimes.

But, I can do this.  I've done it before and we'll all be okay.  Everyone says "Dexter's fine! He'll do great!"  Duh.  It's not him I'm worried about.  sadfacesadfacesadface.

smiling through the tears (but not really),

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


Last week, Theo woke up with a high fever that rose and fell for four long days.  He was pitiful.  It got up to 103.6 Wednesday night, which prompted a call to the after hours nurse.  Luckily it never got higher than that and we didn't have to go to the ER, but it was scary just the same.

Thank goodness Dexter didn't get it.  And thank goodness that I was still on maternity leave and that R could work from home in order to be available to help me out when things got crazy.  Having two babies that desperately need you is a challenge.  As much as I hate it when Theo is sick, I cherish my role as his mommy and soak in all of the cuddles and hugs he is willing to share.  They're not easy to come by these days, after all.

In other sick news, it's sick that my itty bitty baby is almost 12 weeks old and is already rolling over, laughing, bearing weight on his legs, and is thoroughly enjoying sitting in the bumbo seat.

It's sick how cute Theo is, even when he's miserable.

It's sick how the kid I babysat when she was 7 just turned 15 because that makes me feel old.  She just became a big sister, which is all kinds of awesome.  We met Baby Beau Saturday and he is precious.  Sick how much smaller he was than Dexter and there are only 6 weeks between them.  Kids grow way too fast.

It's sick how much Theo looks like his dad.

It's sick that my maternity leave ends today and that Dexter will be going to the babysitter on a regular basis now.  Makes me sick knowing I will never get to spend this much time with my boys again.  Ever in life.  I don't know if I'm cut out to be a stay-at-home mom, but I'd sure give it a whirl if I had the chance.

Sickeningly cute how hard Dexter is trying to suck his thumb lately.