more rambling - childcare update

Hard to believe it's been almost 6 months since The Babysitter of the Year told us she was quitting. Closing. Whatever.  That was truly one of the hardest things we've been through as parents.  Stressful. Unexpected. Struck fear in my heart and opened me up to a world of uncertainties and insecurities.  On July 1st, we took them both to a new in-home sitter and on August 7, Theo started attending Montessori pre-school three days a week.  

How's it going? 

It's going .... good.  The transition was hard and it took longer than I expected but I can say confidently now that things are good.  Am I glad now that it happened this way?  Not necessarily, no.  The boys still miss her. I miss her. I miss her kid. The boys still talk about her.  The current situation is that Dexter goes to the new sitter every day and Theo goes there on Mondays and Fridays.  Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday he is at school.  Not too long ago, after a day at the sitter, Theo was going on and on about his day and the fun that he'd had.  I asked him if he liked school and he said yes.  I asked him if he liked the new sitter and he said yes.  I felt my heart grow warmer as a peace settled over me.  Then, like a moron, I asked him if he had to choose, where he would go every single day. 

He paused, and then said "I would go back to E's because that's the best place for me.  I know that's the best place for me."  

And then my heart about shattered into a million pieces.  Months later, he's still missing her and wishing he could go back.  Me too, son.  That's not to say that I don't love his school.  I do. We do.  We all love his school.  His teacher loves him and has great things to say about his growth there.  I have noticed him growing up, acting older, since he started there.  I don't know if that's always a good thing, but I guess it was bound to happen one way or the other. I do believe that it's been good for him to be the youngest kid instead of the oldest.  He's learning about social cues and rules and expectations.  He's growing more independent.  It's been amazing to watch him change in a short time.  But it's still sad.  

Theo was having some behavior issues before this transition and I now deeply believe that it was due to being the oldest and possibly under-stimulated.  E suspected this and told me this the day she said she was closing.  I didn't want to hear it but the simple truth is that he's had a handful (or less) of issues since the switch.  Because of Theo's wacky antics, I really thought if anyone was going to struggle, it'd be him.  He can be downright rigid and stubborn and I knew how attached he was to her. I can only assume that Theo's ability to verbalize his thoughts and feelings helped him in a way that Dexter was not able to process. 

Dexter really struggled more (visibly) than Theo and much more than I expected.  There was a lot of crying every day at dropoff, clinging to me, and not wanting to go. Crying on the way there and begging not to go.  Saying he didn't like it there. Crying when I picked him up.  I spent quite a few of my drives to work in tears myself, thinking THIS SUCKS.  Stomachaches, wishing for nothing more than to be a stay at home mom.  I have nothing but kind words for the two ladies that care for him, but it's not the same personal experience that we had with E.  As soon as things started to settle initially, Theo started going to school and we had to go through a transition all over again.  The roughest part lasted about two months. But now here we are, almost 5 months into this and Dexter absolutely loves going there. 

This morning, on the way he says: 

No, that's not J's house.

No, that's not J's house.

No, that's not J's house.

No, that's not J's house. 

YAY! That's J's street!!

No, that's not J's house. 

No, that's not J's house. 

No, that's not J's house. 

YES! That's J's house!! 

I pulled in the driveway and reached into the back to unbuckle him from his seat and put his coat on before getting out of the warm, cozy car.  As soon as I unbuckled him, he hopped down from his seat and said:

That's okay, I go in by myself. Have a good day, mommy!  

Excuse me, two year old child?  I think I will continue to walk him in for a little while longer.  Anyway, about 3 out of 5 days a week I don't even get a hug from him because he's too busy running off to play with his friends and doesn't have time for me. I'll totally take that over the alternative.

xo,

~C~

their first week

I've been surprised so far at how the boys have done with the transition from our previous sitter to the new one. I thought Theo would be the one throwing fits, resisting, and expressing himself through negative behaviors.  Instead, it's Dexter who seems to be struggling most with the change.

I thought Dexter would be fine because he's so easy. He's so happy, easy to please, and easy-going.  He has a smile plastered on his face 90% of the time and rarely throws fits or tantrums.

Monday.

Dropoff:  We went together to support each other, the kids, and because we both wanted to see their reactions firsthand.  The room we take them to in the morning has a baby gate and Dexter kept trying to escape and run towards us but he wasn't crying. We hugged and kissed both boys and told them goodbye.  As we left, Dexter was trying to get out of the baby gate and Theo was standing in the middle of the room crying and calling out to us.

So, that felt like crap.

I remembered 10 minutes later that I'd forgotten to leave the diapers and wipes so I texted and asked if I should come back or if that would make it worse. She said within five minutes they were both playing and happy and that it could wait until afternoon.  Ryan wanted to join me again for pick-up so we went together and as we opened the door, I heard Dexter's cry.  She said that he saw us out the window and burst into tears.  I can only assume that he was feeling stressed and the relief of seeing us out the window triggered that emotional release.  He latched onto Ryan and continued to cry.  She said they had a great day and that they seemed to be transitioning well considering their ages.

That night, the boys played and were active at home.  When bedtime rolled around, their behaviors escalated and they both became very whiny and emotional.  This isn't totally out of the ordinary for them, especially Theo, when he is very tired.  The odd thing was how Dexter screamed bloody murder like he had a broken leg when he was put in his bed.  Pretty sad situation.  He stopped after a few minutes and there was nothing but dead silence coming from the monitor.

Tuesday.

I dropped them off and Theo ran over to the toy box immediately and started digging for something.  When I said "bye, Theo!" he yelled "bye, Mom!" without ever looking up.  Dexter, on the other hand, hugged me and did not want me to put him down. The sitter was able to engage and distract him and he went right to her to go look for cars to play with.  Better.

At pick-up, she said that Dexter had a few crying spells in the morning and was looking for me.  I picked him up and hugged him and said "were you crying?"  He answered, "yes, I was crying for youuuuuu!"  Oh, no.  Sad, sad, sad.  She said again that she thought they were doing very well adjusting and complimented us on how clearly the boys speak and how smart they are! Nice to hear.

Bedtime was better for Theo but about the same for Dexter. Lots of crying and screaming and begging to be held.  Ugh.

Wednesday.

Ryan volunteered to drop them off.  It was Red, White, and Blue day in celebration of the 4th tomorrow, so we dressed them to the nines!

Getting a decent picture of these two is quite the task these days.  Not that it's ever been easy...maybe when they're 8&9??  

We had a little extra time this morning so why not spend it tackling some yardwork?

Ryan called after drop off and said that it did not go so swell.  He said that Dexter cried when they went inside and started calling "Mama! Mama!"  He voluntarily went from Ryan to the new sitter, but then switched to crying for daddy.  Double UGH.  As he left, Dexter was still crying.  Again, Theo was fine.

I know they are safe and I know they will be okay.  I don't know exactly how Theo is processing this because he seems ... FINE.  And maybe he really is fine.  I just did not expect Dexter to be so emotional or have such a hard time.  I hope that it gets a whole lot easier before Theo starts going to school three days a week in August. A month is a long time in the life of a 2 year old so I'm hopeful that by then, Dexter will be well-adjusted and we won't be having these meltdowns every day.  Poor guy. I wish I could make it easier on him (and us!).  I sure am glad that their first week was only 3 days.

Have you ever dealt with a transition like this?  What helped?

xo,
~C~

their last day

Well, this has been kinda tough so far.  By kinda, I mean I've cried over this dumb mess more than I ever imagined possible or reasonable.  It's odd and interesting, the things that become important and stressful once you become a parent that you never DREAMED would be such a big deal. It's been heart-wrenching at times and I have to admit that I've probably shed more tears over this than anything since my dad died.  Well, I'm skipping over the hormonal crying related to newborn baby sleep deprivation and/or pregnancy.  While it doesn't exactly feel like someone died, the finality has hit me hard that this desirable situation has come to an end and an uncertain future is upon us.

Last Friday was the boys' last day with their first and beloved lady.  They have always spoken so highly of her and have looked forward to going to her home.  The Saturday before last, I took them to JoAnn Fabrics and told them they could pick out any gift to make for her.  Theo was drawn towards the birdhouses so they both spent some time picking their houses, changing their minds, and changing their minds again until they both picked the perfect gifts.  Picking out their paint colors was much easier.  Green and red.

They really were not interested in putting clothes back on after painting in the (almost) nude.  So they played while their projects dried.  I worked on them a little bit each night leading up to their last day.  Thursday night we put the boys' handprints on the bottoms of their birdhouses and I sealed them with clearcoat.  

As I was painting them and realizing that this was it, this was really the last night before the last morning that they'd wake up and go to her house, I lost it.  There were lots of tears.  It's just hard as a mom, going from something that you take comfort in to something that feels so completely uncomfortable.  I've grieved for my relationship with this woman, who has become a friend. I've grieved for the kids' relationship with her. For the kids' relationship with her son. Her husband.  They have been so much a part of our family for the last 3 years.  The boys have spent so many hours in her arms, home, and in her care.  It's hard to let go. And while I realize that we can and will remain in contact, it will never be the same.

The last pick-up.

There were lots of hugs during that hard good-bye but somehow I kept it together until we closed the door for the last time.  I looked behind me as we crossed the yard to the car and Theo had stopped about 20 feet back.  He was standing still with his bottom lip sticking out.  I said "Theo, come on honey.  Let's go."  He remained still and I asked him what was wrong.  He suddenly ran to me and I swooped him up and held him tight.  He said "I'm sad" and started to cry.  That's when my tears began to flow as well.  We just stood there, hugging and crying in the yard for a couple of minutes.  I was crying because he was crying. Because he was smart enough to know that something had changed but I was also crying because I knew he didn't fully understand. He sucked his thumb and stared out the window on the way home.

Friday night we distracted ourselves with a fun baseball game.  The boys were tired by the 5th inning and some nasty looking clouds were heading our way so we left. 

Coming up next -- the first day(s) at the new sitter.

xo,

~C~

we have a plan

First, I must say WOW to the last 5 days.  Three friends have had babies and I'm over the moon with excitement for them.  Two in-real-life friends and one of my favorite blogger pals, Mindi, gave birth in the past week.  Congrats to these ladies and their already beautiful, perfect families.

So, we have a plan.

We went a total of about 10 places and out of those 10, I have to say there was only 1 that gave us that "there's-no-way-in-hell" kind of feeling.  Which was good, I guess, but not so good because we had a hard decision to make. While only one of the places was an absolute "no way," most of the remaining places left us longing for a little more. Until last Tuesday.  We checked out a Montessori school and at that moment, it's like everything just clicked into place.  Are you familiar with the Montessori method? One of our nephews has been going to a Montessori school for a few years and my sister-in-law loves it.  Initially, we thought we'd send Theo 5 days a week, which made us both a little sad to think about him and Dexter being separated so much.

When we read through all the info from the school, we realized that Theo would have 2 weeks for fall break, 2 weeks for winter break, and 2 weeks for spring break.  Not to mention 10 weeks of summer break, none of which are included in the cost of tuition. Because, you know.  You're paying for the education piece, not the childcare piece.  There are camps when school's out but the cost is additional.  Last Tuesday night, we met a friend's babysitter (actually one of the mamas I mentioned at the beginning of this post) who is licensed and works out of her home.  She's been in business for 8 yrs, has a full-time employee, and has a beautiful home.  It's like we met her on the same day we toured the Montessori school for a reason.  All the pieces of the puzzle came together.  That night, we sat at the table for 2 hours figuring out our finances and how we could do this or that, compared various options, and finalized our plan.

I stole all the pictures for this post from our sitter's fb page!

The home babysitter is affordable enough that we are able to pay for Theo to go there full-time in order to secure his spot, send Dexter there full-time, and then send Theo to Montessori just 3 days a week.  This arrangement relieves a lot of my concerns about them being too young and too close to be separated 5 days a week.  They'll still be together more often than not, but maybe the bit of separation will help each of them to grow and adapt.  Maybe Theo will thrive at the school but appreciate having a couple of down days to spend playing with his brother and other kids at the sitter's home. The good thing about paying for Theo to go to this sitter full-time is that we won't have to make any separate arrangements or pay extra during those 16 weeks per year that school is not in session.

I stole all the pictures for this post from our sitter's fb page!

The school said we can bump up to full time at the beginning of any month.  The sitter said she is happy to watch Theo intermittently as long as she doesn't go over her ratio (but if she does, that spells trouble and stress for us).  Ideally, I'd like to see Dexter go to Montessori at least part time when he's 4 but it would be nice if he could start at 3 as well.  He's just very different from Theo in a lot of ways that are hard to explain and I think Theo needs this now...would greatly benefit from this now.

A nice thing about our "plan" is that they will both go to the sitter for a little over a month before Theo starts school.  It will be plenty of time (I hope) for Dexter to get comfortable there and then when Theo transitions to school 3 days a week, maybe it will be easier on Dexter than if they just both started going somewhere new, apart, at the same time. It feels good.  It feels right.  I didn't know if we would get to this point the first full week that we were searching.

I stole all the pictures for this post from our sitter's fb page!

I'm still super sad about our sitter deciding to close, but we've communicated a great deal about it and plan to stay in close contact.  She's become a part of our family, just as we have become a part of hers.  Theo knows a change is coming. We've been trying to talk to him about it without confusing him.  The first few days, he'd say "well, today was my last day."  Now he isn't saying that, but he'll say "she's not gonna babysit us anymore," "she's gonna do a different job," "in [insert random number] days, it's gonna be OVER!" (very dramatic, this kid), or he'll say things about how he's going to behave poorly at a new place (I guess to threaten us all with the consequences of this unfortunate scenario).  I really hope that's not the case, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned.  I know Theo is smart, but I think he's probably a lot smarter than even I realize.

If nothing else, it will be very interesting to see how all of this unfolds.  As of now though, we've got a plan...for what that's worth.

xo,
~C~

blue in the face

That's how much we've talked about this daycare situation.  Til we're blue in the face.

Pretty shortly after our babysitter told us she's closing, I came to the conclusion that I did not want to go the home babysitter route going forward.  Nothing against her or the experience we've had there.  To the contrary, actually.  For one, she has been unbelievably reliable and has exceeded all of our expectations.  She doesn't turn the t.v. on and sit them in front of it. EVER. She has had a schedule/routine and planned-out days since the boys were both infants and has tailored learning activities to their level ever since. I don't expect to find any of that with another home babysitter.  And there's the obvious possibility of another babysitter deciding that this is something she no longer wants to do. I don't want to risk putting ourselves in this situation again.  We accepted that we were vulnerable to that possibility when we chose a home babysitter, but I think that it had worked out so well up to this point that we never considered her closing a potential problem.

But.  She is doing what she has to do for her family as they move forward to the next stage of life.  So, since the decision has been made for us, it seems like the appropriate time to make the transition to a daycare/pre-school center.  We visited and toured 5 centers on Tuesday.  Two had waiting lists.  One of those two was immediately off the list because... well, it was disgusting.  I don't know how or why any parent would feel good about dropping their child off there.  It was fine from the outside. Nice-looking brick building and playground in a fenced in area behind the building. The inside was gross, the staff seemed did not seem friendly, professional, or knowledgeable. The director's office was repulsive.  I wanted to leave as soon as we walked through the front door.  So that was an easy cut.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the one that was probably our first choice was obviously the most expensive.  I don't want to sound like a big cheap-o because OF COURSE their care, education, safety, and happiness is paramount and worth all the money in the world.  However, we do not possess all the money in the world and if we did, I sure as hell would not be working just to pay for their damn daycare.  Okay, got that out of my system.  So, that place is pretty much off the list.

Down to three.

One is an "educational center."  It has an official pre-school program, before and after school care, and summer care for children up to age 12.  The kind of place where there is a sense of peace of mind just because it's regarded in the community as a quality facility. We were not overwhelmed with warm fuzzies for the building or the director.  Upon further consideration, I think we decided the building was fine. The hang-up we had was that the 3yr olds and up basically shared one large open space that was more or less divided by coat racks and bookshelves.  Doesn't seem like the most conducive environment for 3 year olds.  Aside from that, they have a waiting list.  The problem with the waiting list is that they can't seem to be able to tell us how long the waiting list IS.  Are we talking weeks, months, or years? That's all I want to know, so we can decide if this is even a real possibility. We don't have 6 months to decide.  Obviously if we decide to go there, we will be on a waiting list so we need to figure out care in the interim.

The next viable option is an older facility that I have gotten a few mixed reviews on. A couple of people's primary concern was that the building is not secure.  In other words, it was the only one out of five daycares that you can just walk right into and stroll through the building. Of course, they ask that you sign in when you get there but I had a friend who went there once and waited. And waited. Then wandered around the building looking for someone.  I'm just kind of picturing this place being ran by hippies. There's a very different approach here.  It's on 10+ acres, in the woods, and I think that makes it unique and special on it's own. They do take some really neat field trips. They have a pool and in the summer, the kids get to swim 40 minutes a day. They do have an official pre-school program during the school year.  But the building.  I don't know how else to describe it but dilapidated.  I imagine that the place needs some serious repairs.  Another parent took her child there 20 years ago and was not satisfied at all.  Valuable information since the place is family owned and operated and has been this entire time, but a lot can change in 20 years.  I wasn't super duper encouraged by my limited interactions with the staff/teachers. They have programs for kids up to age 12, so summer care would not be a problem there even after they went to elementary school.

And finally, the third place was kind of a spur of the moment thing that I remembered as we were heading back home after seeing the other four places.  We were warmly greeted as soon as we walked in the door by the assistant director and she happily gave us a tour, was very knowledgeable, and spent a lot of time with us, explaining things and allowing us to observe the classes.  The kids were eating lunch and transitioning to naptime while we were there so we didn't really observe any "teaching" but the staff were friendly and I liked the assistant director a lot.  Every place we went, I asked "will the boys ever see each other?" Most commonly, the answer was "in passing" or "not really."  Um? These kids have been attached at the hip since the day Dexter was born. I'm having a hard time with this. I know it's going to happen when Theo goes to Kindergarten but for Pete's sake, that's two years away.  At this last center, the assistant director smiled and nodded and said she understood. That if either of them seemed to be having a rough day, they would pull both of them and let them have some "brother time" to just play or be around each other.  Also, they would play together on the playground at the end of the day.  Negatives?  There's no pre-school.  And there's no care after Theo goes off to Kindergarten. So after he finished Kindergarten, we'd have to find some other new place to take both of them. I know it's three years away and things might be different then, but it's something we think about and consider.  The teachers are not degreed (licensed, I guess but don't have college degrees).  I'm not saying someone needs to have a college education to be qualified to watch my kids, but this place was a little more expensive than the educational center that was accredited, etc., with degreed and licensed teachers that use specific curriculum in their classrooms.  I liked their outdoor play area better than any of the other centers, aside from the one on the huge wooded lot.  They don't do any field trips.  I don't think field trips are super important to me, I guess there are pros and cons to field trips. I kind of get the creeps thinking about anyone but me or someone very close to me driving my kids around and fastening them in carseats, etc.

Anyway -- tough choices. I think we just need to go back and observe, interact, and spend some more time before we decide what to do.  How important is the secure entry?  Warm, fuzzy feeling from the staff?  Official pre-school program?  What are the requirements to call yourself a pre-school or can any facility say they have a pre-school? I have no clue.  We're pretty lost.  We just keep talking and pushing and pulling and trying to figure out which one of our high priorities is our number one priority.

We will have to figure it out, and figure it out soon.  If not for the boys' safety, educations, and happiness, then for my own sanity.  I didn't know one lady could analyze, obsess, stress, or worry about something like this so much in one day.  For 5 days in a row. I need a resolution so I can rest a little bit.  This not knowing is going to drive me mad.

xo,
~C~

i didn't, but then i did + sad news

I registered for the Race Away from Domestic Violence 5k a few weeks ago, expecting to have finished the Couch to 5k program by now and expecting nice, clear weather on June 1st at 8am.

A few things happened to the contrary. I got sick with strep about 5-6 weeks ago and never fully got back on track with Couch to 5k.  I still gave myself enough time to finish C25k (barely), but then I got a cold about a week and a half ago.  From Week 1, Day 1, I vowed to repeat any failed workout until I succeeded. I never failed a single workout until Week 9 Day 1. P.S. It's a 9 week program.  So that was last Sunday...I was supposed to run 30 minutes without stopping but I was so congested that I couldn't breathe.  I only made it 15 minutes.

Tuesday we went to Kings Island. Thursday I went to the Tim McGraw concert after receiving a last minute invitation. Things happened and the week got away from me.  By Friday, I still hadn't tried again and the weatherman was predicting thunderstorms during the race.  He didn't lie.  I set the alarm for six a.m. and watched the news for thirty minutes. I didn't see anything about a cancellation but I just didn't have the heart or desire to run in the rain. Especially not knowing deep down if I'd be able to finish.  The furthest I'd ran before was 2.4 miles (without stopping) and the longest time being 28 minutes.

The other thing that happened -- very unexpectedly, our babysitter told us last night that she is closing her doors. My heart sank and I literally felt like I was going to puke as she was explaining. As soon as I understood what she meant by "closing," my mind was going a million miles a minute.  She was talking but I was only half-hearing.  The boys were trying to walk out the door and I was trying not to cry. As soon as the door closed behind me, I burst into tears.  Theo told me all the way home that everything was going to be alright, although he had no understanding of what had just happened. A bomb went off in our happy little world.  She gave a million reasons with which I can find no fault.  I know it's not personal.  But it feels personal.  It feels like a break-up when you've done everything you can do to keep someone happy but it's not enough. It feels like she's breaking up with our kids. Like they weren't good enough. Like they did something wrong.  Again, I know it's not personal.  None of the reasons she gave had anything to do with us, but everything to do with her family and personal life. But from day one, she said that she was committed to seeing our families through to Kindergarten.  We stayed in the same geographical area when we bought our home based largely on that. Knowing all the while, that we were completely vulnerable and that this could happen any day of the week.  Knowing all the while, that priorities change. Life circumstances change.  That promises can be broken and there's not a thing you can do to change it. She made a big decision to better her family's life.  I can't be upset with her, but naturally and selfishly, I'm upset and saddened by the situation that it leaves us in.

So I spent all of Friday night crying and processing. Worrying and wondering.  Fearful of the future. Sick over the uncertainty. Searching online and making a list of people and places to call come Monday morning.  I couldn't sleep last night and when the alarm went off at 6am this morning, I sure was not in the mindset to toss aside my worries and go run in the rain for the sake of saying I ran a 5k.

She's giving us 4 weeks to find alternative care.  We're thankful for that but so much remains unknown for now.  It's just been a gloomy kind of weekend.

After gorging myself on Mexican food for dinner tonight, I told myself to snap out of it.  I knew I'd eaten way more than My Fitness Pal would appreciate and I needed to do something to make up for it.  At 8pm I decided that even though I didn't make it to the 5k 12 hours earlier, I had everything I needed to run a 5k right then.  I put on my shoes, grabbed my iPod and I ran.  I ran and ran and ran.  I ran fast then I slowed down.  Waaay down. I sped up and slowed down. Over and over.  I sung. I focused on my breathing. I felt my feet hitting the ground. Ankle, knee, and side pains came and went.  I focused on the sky and the lines on the sidewalk before me.  I ran and ran and ran until I'd gone 3.2 miles.  Just over 5k in just under 40 minutes.  The furthest and longest I've ever ran.  It felt good to accomplish it, even if there was no crowd. No tag with a number to pin to my shirt. No official time. No one to high 5 me at the finish line.  I did it for myself. Now I know that I can.

Still sad? Of course.  But life moves on.  We all keep progressing.  Our babysitter told me to focus on the positive.  It will be good for Theo to be around older kids.  I know it will be fine, but it just doesn't feel that way right now because I just don't know what to do or where to go.  We have a big search and a big decision ahead of us.  It's hard and stressful and anxiety-provoking.  It's time to figure it out, though, so that's what we will do.

xo,
~C~

in honor of celebrate-your-childcare-provider day

I don't know if that's a real thing, but it's our babysitter's birthday today, so we're celebrating her.  I always hesitate to use the word "babysitter," because she's so much more than that to us and to the boys.  That word simplifies the extent of the relationship that my family has with hers.

Feb 2013

Dexter is at a stage now where he does not want to leave when I arrive to pick them up.  Sunday, he started saying he wanted to see her, her son, and her husband around 6pm and would.not.let.up.  Theo, when asked who his best friend is, often answers with her name.

We've been through a lot together.  She was there for Theo's first birthday.  And for Dexter's 14 months later.  She had a challenging pregnancy and worked every day of it.  We celebrated her son's first birthday earlier this year.  I don't know how she's survived in all this boy madness for the last three years, but she does a damn good job of it. 

When we set out to find childcare, we weighed the pros and cons of a home sitter versus a daycare center.  At the time, my work schedule was weird and we liked the idea of having some flexibility with paying for only a certain number of days per week.  We liked the idea of fewer kids.  We liked the idea of someone who would not only teach them things, but nurture them as well.  

We interviewed two other ladies who ran in-home daycares.  Meaning, they were stay at home moms who did nothing but let their toddlers watch t.v. all day and were just looking to make some extra cash.  That was not what we were looking for.  When we interviewed our sitter, she had prepared folders with contracts and examples of schedules depending on the age of the children.  She explained that the children would not watch television and would be involved in scheduled learning activities daily.  We discovered that she had her degree in elementary education and teaching was her passion.  The choice was easy.  

We feared that there would be issues with reliability.  Having only one caregiver meant if she called in sick, so did we.  This lady...can I just tell you?  This lady has never called in sick.  Oh, well...unless you count that time her newborn son was in the hospital for a week.  We gave her a pass on that.  :-)

Ryan and I have both switched jobs in the past three years and the kids' schedule has increased from 3.5 days per week to 5 days per week.  As hard as it was to give up the extra time with them when I switched jobs last August, I know they are in great hands and they are somewhere that they love and want to be.  

She not only teaches them, she loves them.  And we love her and her family.  We found her through Care.com and took a chance.  I'll never forget the sick feeling I had in my stomach the first time I left Theo there.  I couldn't shake the thought "but she doesn't love him." I didn't want to leave my tiny baby in the care of someone who was practically a stranger. Someone who didn't love him.  Someone who didn't know exactly how he liked to be bounced when he was grumpy.  It didn't take long before I had total trust in this amazing woman and it became clear that she grew to love him very quickly.  The day I left Dexter was sad too, but only because I knew I would miss him.  She loved him before I ever dropped him off.

We've taken for granted the peace of mind we have with where are kids are, day in and day out.  She certainly spends more waking hours with them during the week than we do.  It would be ridiculous to say that she isn't shaping them into the little people they are becoming.  We couldn't have chosen anyone better to help us do just that.  

I tell her from time to time that while some people may think that she doesn't have an "important" job, to me she has the absolute MOST important job in the world.  Keeping my kids safe and happy when I can't.  There is no way to put into words what a huge responsibility we have placed on her or the gratitude we feel for her.  We expect a lot from her.  She delivers.  

I'm not a person who goes around using the term 'blessed' very often.  But when I think of how this relationship has turned out, that's how I feel.  

So thank you, to our babysitter extraordinaire/teacher/nurturer/potty trainer/food fixer/cheerleader/toy finder/craft coordinator/endlessly energized and all around amazing lady.  And happy birthday.  

xo,

~C~