struggle, struggle

Resolution Running: Fail.

I started off strong - what I mean by that is that I ran about 14 miles the first half of January. Then I was sick for six weeks with some sort of incapacitating illness or another including two stomach bugs, two rounds of strep, and the flu.  The one I got the flu shot for.  When I wasn't sick (rare), my kids were. Or my husband was.  So there were two solid months of no running.  The last time that I ran in January, I didn't make it very far before terrible knee pain struck and forced me to stop. I could  not run through it.

Since then, I've wanted to run. Some days my knee feels great. Other days, a sudden pain will take my breath away. At times, it hurts to walk.  It's so random because literally, some days, it feels like nothing is wrong.  All along, I have felt the urge to run. I have the urge to push my body past where I think it can take me.  Now it is {finally} getting warmer out and I picture myself with nothing but my feet, my thoughts, and my iPod, running around the neighborhood.  I want to run.

I ran two weeks ago on the treadmill and only made it .8 miles before that debilitating knee pain was too much to take. I just started running a year ago. Is it possible that my running days are already over? If this was caused from an injury, wouldn't the 6-8 week break be enough time for it to heal?

People have asked me about wearing a knee brace - I don't know the first thing about it.  I went to the orthopedic doctor about my knee 2 years ago and he wanted me to have a $1500 MRI. It was in the middle of us selling our house and moving in with my in-laws so I never got it done. Then I lost 25 pounds, started running and didn't have anymore knee trouble. Until January.  Maybe I need to go back to the doctor. This is a totally different pain/problem than what I had 2 years ago, but just as troublesome.

My goal of running 300 miles this year (25 miles a month) is definitely not going to happen. At this point, I just need to find something I enjoy doing that keeps me active. I'm dying to hike, but the weather hasn't quite gotten there yet for taking the boys.  There aren't a lot of super awesome hiking spots close by (nothing less than 30+ minutes) so it's not like I'll be doing that 3x or more per week anyway.

My weight is ... okay. For now.  When I was sick, my weight loss reached 31 pounds (from when I started losing weight over a year ago). My original goal was to lose and stay within a 20-24 pound loss range. On average, I've maintained about a 25-26 pound weight loss.  I think since I was sick, I got in the habit of thinking I can eat whatever because it wouldn't matter if I gained that 5 pounds back.  I've definitely gained that 5 pounds back but haven't stepped on the scale in a bit because I don't think I want to know if I've exceeded that.  I know I'm sort of okay, because my clothes still fit.  But I definitely don't feel as healthy or energetic or lean as I do when I'm eating better and exercising regularly.

That's what's going on with my health/fitness goal right now...not the end of the world, but definitely not as positive of a report as I'd like to give.  I'm excited to go for lots of walks with (and without) the boys now that it's getting warmer.  More outside time = less inactivity and less TV.

xo,
~C~