my 9 month old babe.

Dexy went to the doctor last Thursday and at 9 months, my lean machine weighed in at 18 pounds, 6.5 ounces.  I was sure he’d be closer to 20 but I guess he’s doing alright.  He gained three pounds but only grew 1” since his last visit.  I couldn’t believe that he hadn’t grown much considering how all of his pants seem to get too short after about the third wear. 

He’s in the 16^th percentile for weight (up from 12^th) and 39^th for height (down from 69^th).  I guess he’s getting a little more proportional.  I remember going into Theo’s 9 month appointment cool and confident because he didn’t have to get any shots.  Then all my dreams were dashed when the doctor basically said he might be delayed because he wasn’t crawling.  Then, a week later, he was crawling, pulling up, and cruising all at once.  Anyway, I felt good going into Dexter’s 9 month appointment knowing he wouldn’t get shots AND because he’s been crawling, cruising , and pulling up for a solid 2 months now.

There was a nurse practitioner student there.  I don’t know if she is just doing clinicals at the office or if she’s really interested in Peds, but she should study harder.  She came in and did her assessment before the doctor did a real one.  She was checking him out in the ol’ diaper area and I asked her if she noticed any signs of a hydrocele.  She gave me a puzzled look and I said “are you familiar with hydroceles?”  She shook her head no and I proceeded to explain what they are.  She also said that Dexter was the skinniest baby she had seen.  Really?  Come on.  He’s not malnourished or anything. 

The doctor came in and did all the same things she did, only better.  He did say his hydrocele was gone, as far as he could tell, and that we didn’t even need to go back to the surgeon if we didn’t want to.  The NP student piped up and said “he’s underweight!” like she made a medical discovery.  I furrowed my brow and looked at the doc.  He glanced at Dex’s growth chart and said “no, he’s not.”  Then he went on to explain to her how growth works.  You know, because that’s confusing.  He’s growing.  He’s gaining weight.  And he’s doing both on a smooth curve alongside the bigger children.  He’s thin.  He’s not “underweight.”  The doctor gestured to me and said “his parents are thin, he’s just thin.”  Well, thank you, doctor.  I will take that compliment and run with it.  

I really hope it was her first day.  I really hope Peds is not her specialty.

Here’s where I stereotype.  I thought she would have a bit more sense considering the fact that she was 40+ and mentioned straight off that she had two teenage children of her own.  Wrong.  That’s rude of me to say, right?  Because I probably would have given a 22 year old NP student more of a break.  Eh. Difference this time?  I knew she was wrong!

Signed,

the mother of children that are perfect in every way.