Tuesday, May 3, 2011

what if?

What if the baby has colic and cries ALL the time?

What if everyone's disappointed with his or her gender?

What if the baby doesn't sleep through the night at 8 weeks like Theo did?  What if it's 8 months or 3 years?

What if Theo wakes up every time the baby wakes up and can't go back to sleep?

What if I (physically? emotionally?) can't handle two babies?  Not just two kids, two babies.

What if he or she gets stuck coming out?  And breaks a shoulder or has brain damage or worse?

What if I have to have a c-section this time?

What if my recovery is a lot worse than last time?

What if this baby changes Theo somehow?  What if he doesn't like the baby and is always mean to it? 

What if he thinks I love him less because I'm always with a new baby? 

What if I have to tell him "no" when he wants me to play with him or read him a book? What if he hates me?

What if I'm sad and crazy after the baby is born because my hormones are out of control and I'm feeling overwhelmed and alone?

What if we never get the time (and nerve) to list our house so we never sell it and are squished like sardines forever?

What if I never fix my hair or put on make up or brush my teeth or leave the house again?

What if my friends forget about me and I become completely irrelevant?

What if the baby won't latch on and I have to go through the same nightmare to establish breastfeeding this one that I did with Theo? 

What if my husband and I never take or make time for each other anymore and turn into just friends?  Or worse, co-parents?

What if I'm never, ever well-rested again?

What if I don't get rid of all these pre-baby jitters before next Thursday?

to be continued,


  1. I don't know how religious you are, but this is how I try to live:

    ‎"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:34

    Brandon used to tell me not to worry because if it's something you can't do anything about then you are wasting time. He was so right! I know it's hard not to worry, so I will send positive thoughts your way...everything will be FINE!
    Mary :-)

  2. What if this baby melts your heart? What if Theo doesn't remember being one and only remembers when his sibling could play and be his number one confidante? What if you are exhausted beyond belief and you are holding two wonderful amazing human beings in your arms? What if during labor and delivery, your doctor has everything under control? What if your friend never forgot about you and understands when you only have time to call at 3:31 am? What if you and Theo appreciate each other more On special days when Daddy takes the baby? What if these two little babies have a amazing mother who loves them more than anything and would give anything for their safety, health and wellbeing? Love you.