Tuesday, February 1, 2011

on leaving him behind

Last weekend was a first.  Not the first time I ever spent the night away from Theo but the longest  I've ever spent away from him by double and then some.  I swung by the babysitter's Wednesday morning to see him to at least subtract one day off of the length.  Then, Wednesday afternoon I flew to Colorado and spent 4 nights with my best friend, who I hadn't seen in 3+ months.  It was fun, great fun.  Make no mistake about that. We laughed and explored and reminisced and teased and ate and on and on and on...

But Friday morning the hole in my heart was getting a little too big so I tried to superficially stuff it back up by looking through every last digital image on my camera.  I wanted to study his face and all of his cute expressions, as if that would make me feel him in my arms.  So, I made it a whole 48 hours without crying.  My heart ached with so many miles between us, not being able to kiss his chubby cheeks, and knowing it would be another 2 days before I watched him break into one of those sneaky smiles.  But what could I do?  This was a rare chance to spend time with my bff, and I had to make the most of it.  Luckily, there were some pretty captivating distractions, like the Great Sand Dunes National Park

 and Garden of the Gods.
Wildfire Productions
Forgive me for not using my own pictures, which I have a bazillion of, but I haven't had time to retrieve them from my camera yet.  I will try to do that soon.  Needless to say, when I saw my sweet one's little face, all was right with the world.  I was exhausted and exhilirated at the same time and so thankful for my wonderful husband and his parents, who took care of my munchkin while I was away.  I have no doubt that it was harder for me than it was for him. 

And that it will be a long, long while before I am away from him for so long again. 


1 comment:

  1. Awww, glad you had fun! And yes, it's definitely harder on Mommy's than the babies! Chad's mom has bugged me a gazilion & one times to leave Kenz in MI on our way out or let her take her up to MI after her visits here for "a week at Grandma's" as she refers to it. Needless to say it won't happen for MANY MANY years, there's just no way I could do it!!