never grow up

The other day I said that I thought Theo's 7th and 8th teeth would be coming in soon.  Am I Sherlock Holmes or what?  They're here.  He's been grumpier at night a few nights and I guess I have to attribute it to that, but it's weird because #5 and #6 were through the gums before we knew what hit us.  Brushing his teeth sure is(n't) fun.  We just realized that we should be doing that about a month ago and we're not great at getting it done twice a day every day, but we're getting better.  He, on the other hand, seems to be getting worse.  He doesn't love it but he's kind of funny.  He either tries to lick the toothbrush or bite down on it.  Either way, I never feel very successful afterwards.  Better than nothing I suppose.

I can't believe how much he has changed in the past month.  He started crawling the first week of December.  Since then, he's pulling up, cruising, saying "da da" (I've even heard a couple "ma ma"s in there too), shaking his head no (and laughing) when we say "no no"...while continuing to do whatever we just told him not to, and occasionally waving. He's even stood unassisted a couple of times and tried to take steps by himself.  He definitely doesn't have the balance to be successful yet, but the kid has no fear.  He's banged his head and his mouth a few times and cried more tears than a mama ever wants to watch.  It's just part of the learning process and we can try to protect him every time but he's just so quick and things happen so fast. 

He's turning into something between a baby and toddler, whatever that might be.  He's still so cuddly and sweet at times and I keep thinking to myself how much I love this age/stage that he is in.  I'm happy that I'll have the chance to go through it all again, knowing that I have to savor every second of it because it all passes much too quickly.

I'm only partly ashamed to admit that I (asked for and) received Taylor Swift's new cd for Christmas.  There's a song on there called "Never Grow Up" and I know that Taylor Swift does not have any children of her own, so she must have no clue how true the words of that song are for parents. 

Here's a snippet:

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter 'cause your dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give you all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
No, no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

Just typing those words almost makes me cry because I mean every one of them.  I look at my baby's little innocent face every day and think what it must be like to have no regrets.  To have never hurt someone.  To have never been hurt by someone.  To trust everyone.  To not be jaded.  To not be too overwhelmed with fear or worry or grief or stress to fall asleep at the end of the day.  Innocence is so precious and so quickly lost.  You certainly can't put a price tag on it.  The thought of Theo getting his heart broken or his feelings hurt by mean kids smashes my heart into tiny bits.  I'm not looking forward to him being big enough to understand cruelty. 

If you're a mommy, whether you like Taylor Swift or not, you should give that song a listen.  I bet it hits home for you, too. 

~C~
p.s. what do you think of the name Tegan for a boy?