Since I've got two weeks off between jobs + a house that needs LOTS of work and updates, I've been spending as much time as possible at the house doing whatever I can to get it (more) ready for us to move in to. That means getting up in the morning and getting the boys ready for the day, whether that means going to the babysitter's house or staying home with Nana, and then only seeing them for another hour or so each day. This is the hard part.
I keep thinking it will all be worth it. I have only been going at these long days for a week or so but I feel like it's been 10 years since I've spent any time with my kids and I really miss them. I wonder if they think about me when I'm not around because they cross my mind 10 times a minute. I know they're fine without me around. But what do they think? Do they miss me? I'm looking forward to moving into our house and living there as a family. Dinners there, baths there, bedtime there. Living with my husband there. Seeing the improvements we make over time. This is the hard part.
My mom is in town. She has been hard at work painting for me the last 4 days. I can't wait to show you what she's done! I'd be lost without her, my father-in-law, and my mother-in-law. I asked my mom what she thought dad would be working on if he was still here with us. She laughed and said, "probably whatever you told him to." I sure miss him at times like this. I know he would love our house, flaws and all, and would do anything he could to help us make it better. This is the hard part.
The house looks worse than it did when we bought it because it truly is a construction zone right now. We keep asking ourselves how we ended up in a total fixer upper when we have no time and very little money to make it the way we want it. We can't keep beating ourselves up for our questionable decision making skills. We have to look to the future and realize how great this house WILL be one day. This is the hard part.
I really do believe one day we will look back at these days fondly and admire the work that we did. The love that our family shared with us throughout this process.. Their talent, their generosity, their time, their aching backs and knees, and the list goes on and on. I just have to keep telling myself that it will be worth it. It won't always be like this. This right here, this is the hard part.
xo,
~C~
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
easier/harder
Do you ever feel like you're wishing away the age that your child is at because it's harder than what you anticipate the next stage will be? I guess I wouldn't say I'm wishing it away, but I find myself thinking "it sure will be better when..." Fill in the blank with anything the boys will be able to do 6 months or 6 years from now. There is always something easier and harder than the way it used to be...there is always something easier and harder about the way it will one day be.
When the baby is a newborn, you're thinking it will be nice when they can sleep through the night, tell you what you want, and doesn't need to be held all the time. Later you remember how snuggly they used to be, how they used to nap 6 times a day, and how they didn't ever say "mommy, I don't like you anymore."
When they are 6 months old you wish they could walk or crawl so you don't have to carry them every second of every day anymore. Once they start that, you'll remember what it was like to sit them in one spot on the floor and leave the room, knowing they would still be there when you got back. You know, as opposed to licking electrical outlets or something (mine have safety plugs, I'm just saying!).
Then they turn 2 and they start throwing tantrums like you've never seen. The kind non-parents didn't know existed. Then you think, man, it will be nice when he's 5 and can be reasoned with at times like this. You think it was a lot easier when we didn't have to try to talk him into peeing in the potty every day. Or bribe him to eat. Or bribe him to do just about anything because he's so dang independent that he wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it, or else (see first sentence of this paragraph).
Needless to say, I am only 2 years and 5 months into this parenting thing. I can only imagine how I'll be sitting around one of these days, feeling pretty sad about my boys driving away from home on Friday night to go to a high school basketball game or pick up their dates. I'll remember how they wanted me when they were sick and how they reached for me to pick them up out of their cribs. I'll think about the joy on their little faces when they were only 1 & 2 years old and they had just discovered something so simple and new. Every time I find myself idealizing how wonderful the future will be, I bring myself back to the right now because these little kids of mine? They are pretty much perfect and the most fun that they've ever been. Will there come a day that I don't feel that way anymore? Hope not.
~C~
When the baby is a newborn, you're thinking it will be nice when they can sleep through the night, tell you what you want, and doesn't need to be held all the time. Later you remember how snuggly they used to be, how they used to nap 6 times a day, and how they didn't ever say "mommy, I don't like you anymore."
When they are 6 months old you wish they could walk or crawl so you don't have to carry them every second of every day anymore. Once they start that, you'll remember what it was like to sit them in one spot on the floor and leave the room, knowing they would still be there when you got back. You know, as opposed to licking electrical outlets or something (mine have safety plugs, I'm just saying!).
Then they turn 2 and they start throwing tantrums like you've never seen. The kind non-parents didn't know existed. Then you think, man, it will be nice when he's 5 and can be reasoned with at times like this. You think it was a lot easier when we didn't have to try to talk him into peeing in the potty every day. Or bribe him to eat. Or bribe him to do just about anything because he's so dang independent that he wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it, or else (see first sentence of this paragraph).
Needless to say, I am only 2 years and 5 months into this parenting thing. I can only imagine how I'll be sitting around one of these days, feeling pretty sad about my boys driving away from home on Friday night to go to a high school basketball game or pick up their dates. I'll remember how they wanted me when they were sick and how they reached for me to pick them up out of their cribs. I'll think about the joy on their little faces when they were only 1 & 2 years old and they had just discovered something so simple and new. Every time I find myself idealizing how wonderful the future will be, I bring myself back to the right now because these little kids of mine? They are pretty much perfect and the most fun that they've ever been. Will there come a day that I don't feel that way anymore? Hope not.
~C~
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Dinnertime: what's right or wrong?
This has been on my mind for some time. We go through periods of time where the boys eat great and I don't have to worry about it at all. Other times, I struggle with what to do.
Eating habits. What do you do? Do you try to coax your kids (toddlers) to eat what's on their plate? I have mixed feelings about this. I have a habit of cleaning my plate just because the food is there and it shouldn't go to waste. Not necessarily because I am so hungry that I need to eat everything in sight. I don't know what my child's stomach feels like so is it fair for me to push him to clean his plate if he's not that hungry? Doesn't that just set him up for the same bad habits I've fallen into, which have caused me to gain and struggle to maintain a healthy weight?
Sometimes we have a dessert that I am excited for him to taste. If he doesn't eat his vegetables, should I withhold that treat? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I don't want to set him up for resenting vegetables. If he is forced to eat them, won't he soon start (if he already hasn't) to rebel against them? I don't want to set my kid up for failure. There are so many things to worry about as a parent that I never even dreamed of before.
Here's a scenario that happens all too often at our house. I'll fix dinner and Theo will refuse to eat or barely pick at his food. No dessert. We don't force or high-pressure him to eat. Bedtime rolls around and conveniently, he's suddenly hungry. Ryan says he shouldn't get another chance to eat dinner because then he's running us around like short order cooks. Valid point, but I can't let him go to bed with his stomach growling. What if he really is hungry? At that point it's been 7-8 hrs since his last meal and he really might need something. Normally, if I have saved his plate, he will eat it. Sometimes he asks for yogurt. I don't ever allow crackers or cookies in that situation. The doctor actually suggested yogurt or cheese as a bedtime snack when he skips meals. I'm just torn.
Both Theo and Dexter are thin, hovering around the 20th percentile. It isn't like a bedtime snack is going to push them over the line to obesity. But should I be teaching them a lesson by sticking to a hard and fast rule about when they are allowed to eat? I've read a million different things and theories.
What's yours?
~C~
Eating habits. What do you do? Do you try to coax your kids (toddlers) to eat what's on their plate? I have mixed feelings about this. I have a habit of cleaning my plate just because the food is there and it shouldn't go to waste. Not necessarily because I am so hungry that I need to eat everything in sight. I don't know what my child's stomach feels like so is it fair for me to push him to clean his plate if he's not that hungry? Doesn't that just set him up for the same bad habits I've fallen into, which have caused me to gain and struggle to maintain a healthy weight?
Sometimes we have a dessert that I am excited for him to taste. If he doesn't eat his vegetables, should I withhold that treat? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I don't want to set him up for resenting vegetables. If he is forced to eat them, won't he soon start (if he already hasn't) to rebel against them? I don't want to set my kid up for failure. There are so many things to worry about as a parent that I never even dreamed of before.
Here's a scenario that happens all too often at our house. I'll fix dinner and Theo will refuse to eat or barely pick at his food. No dessert. We don't force or high-pressure him to eat. Bedtime rolls around and conveniently, he's suddenly hungry. Ryan says he shouldn't get another chance to eat dinner because then he's running us around like short order cooks. Valid point, but I can't let him go to bed with his stomach growling. What if he really is hungry? At that point it's been 7-8 hrs since his last meal and he really might need something. Normally, if I have saved his plate, he will eat it. Sometimes he asks for yogurt. I don't ever allow crackers or cookies in that situation. The doctor actually suggested yogurt or cheese as a bedtime snack when he skips meals. I'm just torn.
Both Theo and Dexter are thin, hovering around the 20th percentile. It isn't like a bedtime snack is going to push them over the line to obesity. But should I be teaching them a lesson by sticking to a hard and fast rule about when they are allowed to eat? I've read a million different things and theories.
What's yours?
~C~
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