dear baby

Dear Baby in my Belly,

I can't believe that we have already known about you for 5 months and that you will be here, on the outside of my belly, in about 3 months.  Time is going by too fast and we haven't even seen your face yet.  I know that you, just like your big brother, will change and grow at an amazing rate of speed and we'll be looking back a year from now wondering where our tiny newborn has gone.  My pregnancy with you has been so different than my pregnancy with Theo.  With him, we knew he was a boy and by this point we had picked out his name.  We called him by name as if he was already with us.  We said "he" when referring to him.  It's weird, always referring to you as "he or she" or "it"...you're certainly not an "it."  Sometimes we slip and call you just "he" or "she" because it's easier, but that doesn't feel right, because what if we're saying the wrong thing?  So then, it's back to calling you "he or she."  Long way of saying that sometimes it would have been easier to just know.

But I'm glad we didn't find out.  You're our little mystery.  Regardless of your gender, we already know that you'll be so very different from Theo.  Your own little person, indeed.  It will be so exciting on your birthday because the anticipation is already building.  I know that by the time another 13 weeks or so has passed, we'll be overflowing with excitement to meet you and hear the doctor proclaim "it's a boy!" or "it's a girl!" (in no particular order of preference...ahem).

You are a wiggly little person and I hope you sleep more outside of my belly than you do now.  Maybe you roll over a lot in your sleep?  I'm starting to feel big, hard parts of your body...what I'm guessing to be your back and your head...rather than just the little kicks and pokes that I'd been feeling until recently.  By now you should weigh about a pound and a half and be a little over a foot long.  That doesn't sound like much, but when you're curled up inside of someone's belly, it's kind of a lot!  Don't get the wrong idea - I need you to stay put until you're a good 6 or 7 pounds.  You just stay snuggled up in there until you are nice and healthy and fat. 

I'm trying to take good care of you and I always hope I'm doing okay.  I'll always hope I'm doing okay as your mom.  It's just me and you right now, kid, but there are dozens of people who can't wait to meet you, love you, and smother you with hugs and kisses.  Enjoy the alone time while it lasts, because things are gonna be changing soon. 

I already love you more than you'll ever know. 

Love always,
Mama